Ladies and gentlemen, I have a dog. We bought it today. It’s a maltese shitzu cross, a little fluff ball. My sister decided to call the thing Zak. It’s a mental case, it won’t leave my side. Capers around after me wherever I go. I swear its crazy. I still have schoolwork to do! I have to completely re write my world lit essay (requirement of IB), because and I quote “What is this Nick! Hardly representative of 4-5 hours of painstaking research. Shallow, no line of argument, lack of integration and similarity discussion. I want you to spend at least 2 hours more on this!”
Here’s to you Mrs. Robertson, So here I am, working. Will blog later.
Don't eat the yellow snow
Saturday, November 30, 2002
Thursday, November 28, 2002
I RULE!. Got my exam results back today, Aced Indo and English. Did fairly well in Physics and Chem and bombed in maths. Pretty much what I was expecting really. Now they still keep piling on the work. I have an English oral due sometime soon, Robbo wants me to do at least 2 hours work on my world lit essay (Which is a piece of crap right now), annnnnd as a bonus they want me to choose a topic for my Extended essay as well as start off my TOK orals and essay. Gah, there’s too much work and too little time. The school also wants me to get my CAS hours for the IB up. For the record CAS stands for Creativity, Action and Service. This is an attempt to tear the industrious and studious little IB students away from their books and get them to do sport (Action), something creative and some community service. Over two years the total has to be at least 150 hours. Owing to our Nepabunna trek, (which was 50 hours of community service at an aboriginal town in the outback) I have exactly 50 hours. Also, through swimming and lifesaving I have at least 90 hours a year that go on Action, but I'm sadly lacking in the creativity area. Now, being a guitarist, I have plenty of creativity hours (But noone to sign off on them as I am self taught) and I have a web page design (ibimperium.tk). But I have noone to sign off on it. Therefore I have to come up with something slightly more creative to do. Hmmm, I will think about it for a little longer…
Wednesday, November 27, 2002
Well , the leadership conference is over, this means that in the eyes of the school community, I am trained and fit to lead a group of younger students. Hehehe, fools. IB Imperium is going strong. I sat around at home for most of the afternoon doing work. That’s right, work. Exams are over, and everyone else is already sitting around slowly rotting away in a peaceful state of oblivion. (or on summer holidays even) and not only do I have BAGS more work to do, but I have to return to school for more lessons. Why Nick? You might be asking. “what kind of inhuman monsters would make you go back to school after you have finished exams?” Well, the people running our school are! Apparently we need more instruction on how to craft our extended essays as well as extra classes, because we are IB students, that means we need more work to do! Lets face it, whatever we learn we are going to forget before next year. And if by some miracle we manage to hang on to it, doubtless it will have all changed anyway. Sigh, nothing for me to do but grin and bear it I guess. In my opinion I have already had to bend over and take it up the ass from the IB far too much. “Internationally Buttfucked” as our illustrious SACE counterparts put it. Oh well, my fault I guess. I also have to get a prezzie for Howie and Julia. Their birthdays are on Sunday and I have no idea what to get them. They are amazingly both Sagittarian’s yet they are amazingly different in character. Go figure. Star signs are obviously very scientific.
Sonya is fun. I was just talking to her on Trillian and realised how fun she is. So to recap, Sonya is fun, Daw is cool BUT Sonya is also cool and Daw is also fun. Any questions?
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Groan, I just came from another days excitement at the leadership camp. We spent a great deal of today learning how to speak in public without shitting ourselves and breaking down and sobbing like a little girl. However, after the conference today we all went out for dinner at some café, (Café Mondiano I think) Anyway, the café serves this special known as the Mondi Burger. This burger has a high place in folklore. The Mondi burger consists of a chicken schnitzel, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, secret sauce and other condiments, all served on a large herb roll. The burger itself is approximately the size of a small Frisbee. (About 20cm in diameter) and to top it all off this beast of a meal is served with a generous helping of chips. Now, the challenge is to consume the mondi burger the fastest, it’s a race against time, and should there be a draw, you must eat a single gelati cone with two scoops in under four minutes. I just had the honor of partaking in the MONDI CHALLENGE ™. My stomach is now not speaking to me because of it and I lost anyway. The competition was fierce; with supervisors having to calm the crowd several times. Five competitors, but one without a burger! Where was the service?. The competition began, with the promise of giving the burgerless one a handicap. The competition was over soon enough. The winner consumed the burger in a little over 7 minutes if I remember rightly, and looked slightly green (yet still consumed a gelati cone). I gave up halfway through, but in the end I did finish it and washed it down with a vanilla coke and some lemon lime and bitters. Now I feel like I swallowed about a tonne of wet cement that is slowly hardening in my gut (along with my arteries). I might come back and blog later on when my body decides to resume functioning.
Monday, November 25, 2002
Time for a funny post I think. Since I’ve started blogging online I’m under some kind of constant pressure to be humorous to a degree. Now, all my friends seem to think I’m an endless spring of wit and laughs. IM NOT THAT FUNNY PEOPLE! Oh the pressure.
Anyway, lots of people have advised me that I should blog about the events of Saturday night. However, as I can’t remember most of what transpired that night and that which I can remember is hardly flattering to me. Oh well, I decided to fuck it and publish….
STUPID THINGS NICK MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DONE WHEN HE WAS DRUNK!
1) Climbed two stories up the face of a city building in the belief that I was in fact, the amazing spider man. Only coming down when my friend Julia declared loudly “Nicholas James Lucas, Get yourself down here now before you fall and break your neck” (yes she did sound just like my mother)
2) Attempted to retrieve a novelty jesters hat from the center of a busy intersection by running wildly out into traffic. (Note jesters hat was placed there by irate boyfriend of some girl who I apparently “tried something” on)
3) Had the mistaken belief that drinking an alcoholic drink containing cows milk would be delicious and good for me.
4) Thought that I was still of sound enough mind to ride a bike without dying. (sorry to the owners of the two cats and the dog walker I almost killed)
5) Had wild unprotected sex with a west African chimp, that may well have been the carrier of the AIDS virus.
6) Sat and thought that British comedy was funny.
7) Listened to the little pixie on my shoulder that tells me to burn things (No, surprisingly its NOT only there when I’m drunk)
8) Insulted a gang of street toughs, who look like they eat nails for breakfast and shave their body hair with a machete, in Shakespearian. (Stuff along the lines of “Thou art a rump fed ronyon” and “Away with thee you maggot infested bilge rat”)
9) Almost killed a friend of mine by throwing her through a window. No, she didn’t actually go through, but she was pretty close to it.
10) Almost seriously maimed another friend by attempting to throw him over a pool fence.
11) Numerous other things that I either cannot remember or am too embarrassed to publish. However, I’m sure as soon as people read this they will not neglect to remind me what other stupid shit I have done.
Anyway, lots of people have advised me that I should blog about the events of Saturday night. However, as I can’t remember most of what transpired that night and that which I can remember is hardly flattering to me. Oh well, I decided to fuck it and publish….
STUPID THINGS NICK MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DONE WHEN HE WAS DRUNK!
1) Climbed two stories up the face of a city building in the belief that I was in fact, the amazing spider man. Only coming down when my friend Julia declared loudly “Nicholas James Lucas, Get yourself down here now before you fall and break your neck” (yes she did sound just like my mother)
2) Attempted to retrieve a novelty jesters hat from the center of a busy intersection by running wildly out into traffic. (Note jesters hat was placed there by irate boyfriend of some girl who I apparently “tried something” on)
3) Had the mistaken belief that drinking an alcoholic drink containing cows milk would be delicious and good for me.
4) Thought that I was still of sound enough mind to ride a bike without dying. (sorry to the owners of the two cats and the dog walker I almost killed)
5) Had wild unprotected sex with a west African chimp, that may well have been the carrier of the AIDS virus.
6) Sat and thought that British comedy was funny.
7) Listened to the little pixie on my shoulder that tells me to burn things (No, surprisingly its NOT only there when I’m drunk)
8) Insulted a gang of street toughs, who look like they eat nails for breakfast and shave their body hair with a machete, in Shakespearian. (Stuff along the lines of “Thou art a rump fed ronyon” and “Away with thee you maggot infested bilge rat”)
9) Almost killed a friend of mine by throwing her through a window. No, she didn’t actually go through, but she was pretty close to it.
10) Almost seriously maimed another friend by attempting to throw him over a pool fence.
11) Numerous other things that I either cannot remember or am too embarrassed to publish. However, I’m sure as soon as people read this they will not neglect to remind me what other stupid shit I have done.
By the way kids, crazy weather going on up here in the hills of Adelaide. They have just issued a massive storm warning, and looking out the window, I think that they’re right. There’s this massive cloud with lightning crackling around like every 2 seconds. Very scary. If I had my digital camera, I’d take some pictures of it, but just so you guys know if I lose power later on, this post will probably die.
I just spent from 9 till 6 in a hall listening and being lectured about how to be a great leader. As I sit on the SRC executive at my school these are all skills that I will need to command students to do my evil bidding. Mwahahahah. But really though, the one thing that I learnt from today's experience is that if you put 40 students, all of them leaders into a room and expect them to agree on something they will all believe themselves important enough to lead the conversation themselves, and inevitably the conversation will be led in 40 different directions and decompose into chaos. This is what happened today. Although I was happy to take a back seat and observe the different ways that people do things, the chaotic operating seems to be a grim picture of the future. I’m sure we will eventually pull it all together. We had our share of those exciting games you play at these things. Trust games. “if you were on a desert island what would you take and why” and the ever exciting “find someone who can” . When it came to “find someone who can recite a poem” I was grabbed by about 8 different people, so fast that my tacky tie was nearly yanked clean off. (That’s right, tacky tie. I was a loser and wore a tie on a casual day) but anyway, is it my fault that I’m the only person I know who memorizes poetry? Sigh. In my humble opinion the thing ran waayyyy too long. But I’m going back tomorrow, whether I like it or not.
Sunday, November 24, 2002
Oh also by the way. I would like to apologise to everyone who was at Hannahs last night. I was Not un-pissed and might have done some stupid stuff. sorry guys.
I just got up from watching Spiderman. It’s an alright movie. Got me thinking about the superpowers that I have. No, I haven’t been bitten by any radioactive anythings but I have a knack for being able to do cool (yet completely useless stuff) So without further ado . ..
NICKS LIST OF SUPERPOWERS
I have a SUPER MEMORY FOR USELESS SHIT! That’s right, I can remember pointless crap, like what is in peoples houses, but I cant remember formulas and equations.
I have SUPER HEARING FOR WHITE NOISE. Yes, if there are any TV’s or computer monitors on standby nearby, I can hear them, sitting there whining away. Not very useful.
I am blessed with SUPER SARCASM. I’m too sarcastic for my own good, leave it at that
ALCOHOL INVULNRABILITY, Ok, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have an effect on me, its just that alcohol seems to metabolise from my system faster than everyone elses. I sober up faster in other words.
ADRENALINE KNOWLEDGE. This is a power perfected over years of procrastination. Basically it means that I can finish assignments in half the time if its at the last minute. Also, I can recall everything that was ever taught in the last 5 minutes of the exam.
I have CAPACITOR PROPERTIES. This came about in a physics lesson, when kev was demonstrating the Van De Gaff generator. Everyone else puts their hand close, gets a zap noise and an electric jolt. I get a crackle and then I can re direct the charge at people. Which is pretty cool really, shooting electricity from my fingertips at people.
So there you go, useless. Absolutely useless
NICKS LIST OF SUPERPOWERS
I have a SUPER MEMORY FOR USELESS SHIT! That’s right, I can remember pointless crap, like what is in peoples houses, but I cant remember formulas and equations.
I have SUPER HEARING FOR WHITE NOISE. Yes, if there are any TV’s or computer monitors on standby nearby, I can hear them, sitting there whining away. Not very useful.
I am blessed with SUPER SARCASM. I’m too sarcastic for my own good, leave it at that
ALCOHOL INVULNRABILITY, Ok, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have an effect on me, its just that alcohol seems to metabolise from my system faster than everyone elses. I sober up faster in other words.
ADRENALINE KNOWLEDGE. This is a power perfected over years of procrastination. Basically it means that I can finish assignments in half the time if its at the last minute. Also, I can recall everything that was ever taught in the last 5 minutes of the exam.
I have CAPACITOR PROPERTIES. This came about in a physics lesson, when kev was demonstrating the Van De Gaff generator. Everyone else puts their hand close, gets a zap noise and an electric jolt. I get a crackle and then I can re direct the charge at people. Which is pretty cool really, shooting electricity from my fingertips at people.
So there you go, useless. Absolutely useless
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Yes, its agreed. I will never ever let daw anywhere near my computer when it is unattended ever again. And all of you should be thankful he didnt finish that joke.
yes it is true. i try not to be sodamn cool, but i just cant help it!! and to make matters worse, not only am i incredibly cool, i am also a sex god! and so f...ing hot that i can barely look in the mirror without almost needing a clean pair of pants! it is sad rerally, it is like a curse! i hate this keyboard!!! it is not cool! neither is this joke. there was once an army, and the army had this leader... oh wait i will save that for next time. ok well that is all from me, this is alex daw saying goodbye friends. stay beautiful (except for dale) and here is my departing quote... dont eat chesse before 11:55. goodbye.
I hate catching public busses. They really suck. Firstly i have to wait in line with a whole crowd of smelly people in the heat, cramming into this metal deathtrap. Then I have to pay for it, only to have my ticket not work in the bloody machine, and i get that buzzing noise that makes everyone on the bus look at me like its MY fault this thing doesnt work. Then due to the area in which i live i have to listen to crazy bogans having arguments about people who are stalking other people and the best ways to do this. And to top it all off i have to ride up a huge hill, in a public bus that is smoky and hot and going at about 10ks an hour, i can walk faster than that. AND the single most irritating aspect is the way they print happy proverbs on the back of the tickets to try and cushion the blow. "If we dont stand for something. we will fall for everything" - Really dickhead, and if we sit for everything then we dont have to stand at all."Every ending is a new beginning" - How long did these people work on these proverbs, because they must have majored in STATING THE FUCKING OBVIOUS. "your life is what you make it" apparently. Well, its hardly what other people make it. Grr, public transport. you can never win.
Ive bitched enough for one post i reckon
Ive bitched enough for one post i reckon
11/22/2002 6:41:22 AM | Nick Lucas]
November 22, 2002
Yes! Its all over. Well, exams are. I’m not very confident about my results, some of them were ok, and others weren’t. Should have done some more study. I’m celebrating tomorrow night, at Hannah’s. As for today, I spent the afternoon sleeping and forgot to pick mum up from work. (Luckily dad got her before she got too mad). Had dinner at my grandparent’s house. They’re pretty cool. Grandma made spare ribs. When they say the ribs are spare, does that really mean the pigs aren’t using them? I’d think that they are using them. I mean, when was the last time you saw a pig with a bandage around it after having its spare ribs removed. I think they just kill it and take them all. The name is misleading. Tonight mum decided to broach the subject of me drinking. I think she suddenly decided that maybe I wasn’t as innocent as I appeared. They weren’t surprised; Dad was more surprised that I enjoy the taste of beer.(he loathes the stuff). Didn’t really seem too irked by it. They know I’m smart enough not to drink and drive anywhere.
Tonight I felt like writing something particularly hilarious. Then I got lazy, so now I’m writing about how I would try and be funny if I was energetic enough to actually think. At this point I could spout off any number of filthy, sexist or racist jokes. But that would be far too easy. Or I could take the path of the stand ups and say something along the lines of “so, you ever noticed that” or “I was in the taxi over here”. In writing this I’ve learned that a lot of my humor is spontaneous and dirty, and that’s pretty depressing.
After discovering that our school was planning on not having muck up day next year, my mind turned to practical joking, and the jokes that I will have to play. . . One involves starting a small but manageable fire in a waste basket, then replacing all of the fire extinguishers in the vicinity with fake ones filled with petrol or another accelerant, and then watching as chaos ensues as good Samaritans try to extinguish the blaze, but make it worse. An offshoot of this idea would be to steal all of the emergency evacuation posters, then set fire to them on the oval. As we are meant to evacuate to the oval, this could pose a problem, and with no posters people would panic, not knowing what to do. I’m seriously considering filling a balloon or two with tomato sauce, stuffing them down the front of my pants, and then bursting them in a public place. Then running off screaming “Oh my god! I think my balls just exploded!” or “My penis, my beautiful penis!”. I’m sure that one would be good for a laugh..
November 21, 2002
With Christmas (36 days away,) and my birthday ( 66 days away). I’m compiling some sort of wish list of all the stuff that I want. Of course, that would be way costly, so I really need some sort of job. Ill get one when exams are over. Then start hoarding in the dollars. I decided that I really need lots of new stuff. Like a scanner for example, and a car! Although I currently scab my parents car. It’s falling apart, the brakes squeal. The indicator makes an ominous buzzing noise, AND IT STALLED ON ME! ITS AN AUTO! ITS NOT MEANT TO STALL!. Ill never get over that. Worst of all, I get to play designated driver, which means hauling people around in my embarrassing car and having them laugh at me. *sigh* if they don’t like it they can walk I guess. That goes for people who insult the way I drive too. I haven’t killed anyone yet. Yet being the operative word…
Nothing happened today. Well, I came one exam closer to finishing for the year. However thanks to the might and power of Robbo, we all have to come back for an extra week (well, all the IB kids do). I miss out on three days worth (cause I’m a leader! I get to go on leadership camp! They’re gonna teach me to lead things!) but I still have to go back on Thursday. THEN I’m done. But I have an English oral and world lit essay due before then. Sigh. The work just keeps coming, No rest for the wicked.
I have good hair, well, I HAD good hair. Today was a good hair day. This is made better by the fact that I had my ID photo taken today. Once a month or so I get the right combination of time, gel and skill to make my hair look good. The rest of the time it looks like some sort of dead animal, but today it was good. Then I had to be considerate and cook dinner. I barbecued and got smoky hair, so I had to wash it. Damn.
I just realized that I’ve blogged a lot today. And now I’m eating ice cream. Vanilla Ice cream, and I realise that life is a lot like ice cream. Vanilla is good. Real good, but sometimes you need to add the toppings, you need to have it with chocolate. Sometimes you need to change flavors, spice things up a little. Or you could go for Neapolitan and try and get the best of everything, but that will only wanting more of one flavour and less of the others. In the end it’s the simple pleasures, the vanilla of the world, that make it all worth while.
November 20, 2002
Today I am at home, because I have no exams. Which is a good thing, cause this morning I woke up looked out the window at the gray sky and realized that I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. Then I did, because I could. Plus I stayed up a little late talking to loz and watching some freaky movie about rattlesnakes. Although I am STILL meant to be studying, I’m not, I watched “Ferris Buellers day off” and was inspired to procrastinate a little longer. So I filled the void of study with music, guitar and coffee. None of which help me for the two exams I have left. Oh well, only three full days of school to go.
At some point I decided that every good situation comedy has a good cast, and in this massive joke of a situation comedy we call life, a good cast makes it all the more bearable. So here they are, the Cast, Crew, and everyone that makes my life more bearable.
1:40am
This morning I remembered why I cared for Lauren so much. She makes me laugh, and is able to put serious on holiday and just have fun. These are amiable qualities and hard to find in a person.. For example
Lozzie: barry the banana and his friend Andrew apple were walking along the street
Snowman: yeah
lozzie: when all of a sudden
Snowman: uh oh
lozzie: stacey strawberry the sweetest of all fruits passed by
Snowman: oooh. I was preparing for disaster
Snowman: but there it is, a strawberry
lozzie: WAIT!
lozzie: there is more
lozzie: as soon as barry banana and andrew apple sat stacey strawberry
lozzie: they ran to greet her
Snowman: hang on. how do banana's and apples run?
lozzie: shh your ruining it
lozzie: (back to teh story)
lozzie: they had only seen her beauty on fruit box tv
lozzie: and read about her in the daily bite
lozzie: barry the banana was flabbergasted and peeled at the site of her
Snowman: i would be too, that stacy strawberry is a fox
lozzie: lol
lozzie: well as barry banana and andrew apple where fixed on stacey strawberry
lozzie: katie kiwifruit passed by
lozzie: now katie kiwifruit is deeply in love with barry banana so she wasn't happy at all
lozzie: when katie kiwifruit gets angry the whole greengrocer knows about it
lozzie: the crying capsicums started yelling "fight fight"
lozzie: no sooner did katie kiwifruit storm up to stacey strawberry and slapped the seeds right out of her
Snowman: oooh cat fight
lozzie: barry the banana was not impressed
and how can you fault that logic?
lozzie: i am telling the story and my name is lauren
lozzie: therefore i am right
Snowman: i forgot the golden rule didn’t i?
lozzie: u sure did
Snowman: sorry, continue
So apparently there was method to my madness. Back when we were together. Its easy to forget why you gave a damn sometimes, then you get reminded and lament what you lost all over again, Cursing yourself for not enjoying it while you had it.
November 19, 2002
Today I realise how my life haunted by clocks and bells. Everywhere I go there’s a bloody clock staring at me, or some damn bell ringing happily. Reminding me of course, how fast time is passing me by. Right now, writing in my journal there’s a bloody clock winking at me on the toolbar. This realization comes to me today because today I spent about 3 hours wishing that the clock would speed up. (Rather than passing my Chemistry and Maths exams) It’s creepy though, when you think about it. We all place a lot of value in time. I’ve spent days wishing that clocks would speed up, in school, tests, exams, boring lectures, bad theatre, church, and never realizing that someday ill wish that I didn’t waste that time. (like right now, when I wish I had been paying attention instead of clock watching in all my maths and chemistry Classes this year). Every day we watch those charming little hands turning away without actually thinking that they are like tiny scissors, slowly but surely trimming away the time we have left. Everyone wears a watch. EVERYONE! Its like some sort of bizarre handcuff that manacles us to time, ensure we’re never late, that we meet deadlines that we’re always on time. I renounce time, (I’m always late anyway).
As for that remark about bells, I don’t know, it just seems to fit. I have a christening bell; there are school bells every day. I wake up every morning to the alarm bell. One day if there happens to be a lady crazy enough to want to marry me the event will be heralded by the peal of a bell. Then one-day years from now, ill die, and at the funeral the church bells will ring, hallmarking the end of my life. And any mourners that may be hanging around will no doubt look at their watch and wonder how much time is left. Not realizing that mine has run out. And one day theirs will too. .
End of rant.
I’m going to get some food.
I think OD thinks I’m some sort of man whore, or pimp or something. Every time he sees me I’m alone with one girl or a small group of girls. Hmmm, probably should do something about that. If I have to see him shake his head at me one more time, ill go mad.
November 18, 2002
*Sigh* I really should be studying. I’m going to bomb so bad in chem tomorrow, and in maths, physics, indo. . ok, so every exam I have left. I think I did ok in English though.
Who am I kidding?. I’m so slack. Ill suited for the IB. The IB is for diligent students. I feel like some sort of stowaway. Like some sort of limpet Lets face it kids, I’m a barnacle! and that thought alone is so sad I think I’m going to cry.
No! ill do something productive, like hit the books. Or I could just sleep. Sleep is fun, and doesn’t hurt my brain like study does.
Plus its late, and I have an exam in the morning . . .
November 17, 2002.
I woke up early this morning. I had to go swimming. My arms hurt, my legs hurt, my brain hurts. Hauling your lazy ass 3ks through a pool will do that to you. Now, I’m not only sore, but I’m tired as hell. Getting up in the morning is way overrated, rising in the PM is more my style. Actually, fuck that, if it wasn’t for school I would be completely nocturnal. It’s more fun that way, plus the night always smells good. I sleep with my window open. I realized that maybe I should do a bit more study than I have been for these exams. They don’t count, but if I can’t motivate myself now, how the hell am I going to do it when they mean something? English tomorrow, I don’t even have a quotes sheet. Not that ill need one, I can remember most of them. I hope. Fingers crossed.
THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1) Eat an entire water buffalo. (including the horns)
2) Dress up as Santa and try to solicit money from shoppers in rundle mall in the middle of July
3) Spray paint myself silver and stalk someone, but stop moving whenever they look around.
4) Attempt to direct traffic through a busy intersection dressed as the rear end of a horse wearing a policeman’s hat.
November 16, 2002
Yawn, the end of another day. I tried again today. I got up, made myself breakfast, and had a shower. Was all set to study. Dale and Nic rang. I had lunch with them instead., Helped them revise for French. All I know how to say in French is “I don’t speak French” and “I like chicken”. As you can imagine I was a big help. I’m home now, lost all the desire and drive for study, not that I had that much to start with. I think I need to hurt something. Unreal tournament sounds like a good idea.
God, I’m so hopeless. No will power. None at all. One of these days someone is going to turn up on my door and sweet talk me into some strange religious cult. Think of me when I forsake my name for a number and wind up living in Arizona in a tent, praying to the gods of the sand to smile upon me,
Until then, I guess this is number 2934-432 signing off.
November 15, 2002
Ok, I tried, I really tried. I got my books out and everything, I tried to study! They gave us a whole day off for it. But did I do it? Well, I did a bit. Not that I learnt anything. I never do. So here I am talking to you. I don’t want to fail.
uh oh, there it is again, the books are calling me. The little angel on my shoulder is telling me to go do some work
”Do it nick you don’t want to fail. You want to be a good boy. Look. The elements. Equations, formulae. Learn!”
The devil told me to fuck it and eat some ice cream.
So here I am. Eating ice cream.
*Sigh* I really should stop listening to that devil.
But his ideas are always the more fun ones. .. .
November 14, 2002
I’m Nick Lucas, and I’m an insomniac. This is not a healthy thing for a teenage boy to be. I need my beauty sleep. (Like, really badly). But no, my body betrays me and decides that it would rather sit and stare at the ceiling for a few hours rather than catch some z’s. I spent three hours last night staring at my clock. Those damn little blinky red numbers sat there turning slowly for three hours!.
I give up. I really do.
November 13. 2002
Today emode decided for me that I am Smart 'n' Sexy
Your intellect puts you in a class above the rest, and it creates a sexual aura that's untouchable by people who possess nothing more than a pretty face. You have people and intellectual smarts and are able to juggle them accordingly. Your sense of the world at large and your world around you draws people to your mind, and what a beautiful mind it is.
Whether you look the part in horn-rimmed glasses and a finely pressed suit or dress simply in a T-shirt and jeans, your style really takes off when you flaunt your intellectual prowess. You're probably happier volunteering for a good cause, like tutoring kids, than spending all night partying with friends — well, at least some of the time. You've read the classics, or at least know what they are, and get the greatest rush when you can fully connect with people — both mind and body. While you may have the looks as well, it's your brains that turn up the heat wherever you go. you're quite the Casanova! You know how to play the dating game; in fact, you're damn good at it. We can tell you're a real woman-magnet and are never without an admirer or three. When combined with your significant charm, your attentive, sensitive demeanor makes you irresistible. Someone definitely made sure that you know how to treat a woman — ladies always feel special and appreciated when you're with them. You've got a knack for expressing yourself and showing your interest without looking too eager, too. That's a difficult balancing act, and you deserve a pat on the back for perfecting it. At the rate you're going, you won't be dating much longer before you score your dream girl!
Hmmm, funny that. Good work emode.
I don’t believe a word of it, but it shows how bored I am lately. Maybe I should do some sort of study or maybe I should find out what kind of tropical fruit I am .. . hmmm, choices choices.
November 12, 2002
Ok, so I’ve never been one to really write a journal, seems like too much work, but with a computer in front of you all you need to do is hit the buttons in the right order, none of this picking up a pen crap, putting it on paper and scrawling patterns.
I have no idea why I am writing this now, partly out of boredom I guess. It’s a way to pass the time. Plus writing is liberating. I enjoy it. Who writes a journal that starts in the middle of November? Me I guess, I wonder how long it will last before I get sick of it.
November 22, 2002
Yes! Its all over. Well, exams are. I’m not very confident about my results, some of them were ok, and others weren’t. Should have done some more study. I’m celebrating tomorrow night, at Hannah’s. As for today, I spent the afternoon sleeping and forgot to pick mum up from work. (Luckily dad got her before she got too mad). Had dinner at my grandparent’s house. They’re pretty cool. Grandma made spare ribs. When they say the ribs are spare, does that really mean the pigs aren’t using them? I’d think that they are using them. I mean, when was the last time you saw a pig with a bandage around it after having its spare ribs removed. I think they just kill it and take them all. The name is misleading. Tonight mum decided to broach the subject of me drinking. I think she suddenly decided that maybe I wasn’t as innocent as I appeared. They weren’t surprised; Dad was more surprised that I enjoy the taste of beer.(he loathes the stuff). Didn’t really seem too irked by it. They know I’m smart enough not to drink and drive anywhere.
Tonight I felt like writing something particularly hilarious. Then I got lazy, so now I’m writing about how I would try and be funny if I was energetic enough to actually think. At this point I could spout off any number of filthy, sexist or racist jokes. But that would be far too easy. Or I could take the path of the stand ups and say something along the lines of “so, you ever noticed that” or “I was in the taxi over here”. In writing this I’ve learned that a lot of my humor is spontaneous and dirty, and that’s pretty depressing.
After discovering that our school was planning on not having muck up day next year, my mind turned to practical joking, and the jokes that I will have to play. . . One involves starting a small but manageable fire in a waste basket, then replacing all of the fire extinguishers in the vicinity with fake ones filled with petrol or another accelerant, and then watching as chaos ensues as good Samaritans try to extinguish the blaze, but make it worse. An offshoot of this idea would be to steal all of the emergency evacuation posters, then set fire to them on the oval. As we are meant to evacuate to the oval, this could pose a problem, and with no posters people would panic, not knowing what to do. I’m seriously considering filling a balloon or two with tomato sauce, stuffing them down the front of my pants, and then bursting them in a public place. Then running off screaming “Oh my god! I think my balls just exploded!” or “My penis, my beautiful penis!”. I’m sure that one would be good for a laugh..
November 21, 2002
With Christmas (36 days away,) and my birthday ( 66 days away). I’m compiling some sort of wish list of all the stuff that I want. Of course, that would be way costly, so I really need some sort of job. Ill get one when exams are over. Then start hoarding in the dollars. I decided that I really need lots of new stuff. Like a scanner for example, and a car! Although I currently scab my parents car. It’s falling apart, the brakes squeal. The indicator makes an ominous buzzing noise, AND IT STALLED ON ME! ITS AN AUTO! ITS NOT MEANT TO STALL!. Ill never get over that. Worst of all, I get to play designated driver, which means hauling people around in my embarrassing car and having them laugh at me. *sigh* if they don’t like it they can walk I guess. That goes for people who insult the way I drive too. I haven’t killed anyone yet. Yet being the operative word…
Nothing happened today. Well, I came one exam closer to finishing for the year. However thanks to the might and power of Robbo, we all have to come back for an extra week (well, all the IB kids do). I miss out on three days worth (cause I’m a leader! I get to go on leadership camp! They’re gonna teach me to lead things!) but I still have to go back on Thursday. THEN I’m done. But I have an English oral and world lit essay due before then. Sigh. The work just keeps coming, No rest for the wicked.
I have good hair, well, I HAD good hair. Today was a good hair day. This is made better by the fact that I had my ID photo taken today. Once a month or so I get the right combination of time, gel and skill to make my hair look good. The rest of the time it looks like some sort of dead animal, but today it was good. Then I had to be considerate and cook dinner. I barbecued and got smoky hair, so I had to wash it. Damn.
I just realized that I’ve blogged a lot today. And now I’m eating ice cream. Vanilla Ice cream, and I realise that life is a lot like ice cream. Vanilla is good. Real good, but sometimes you need to add the toppings, you need to have it with chocolate. Sometimes you need to change flavors, spice things up a little. Or you could go for Neapolitan and try and get the best of everything, but that will only wanting more of one flavour and less of the others. In the end it’s the simple pleasures, the vanilla of the world, that make it all worth while.
November 20, 2002
Today I am at home, because I have no exams. Which is a good thing, cause this morning I woke up looked out the window at the gray sky and realized that I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. Then I did, because I could. Plus I stayed up a little late talking to loz and watching some freaky movie about rattlesnakes. Although I am STILL meant to be studying, I’m not, I watched “Ferris Buellers day off” and was inspired to procrastinate a little longer. So I filled the void of study with music, guitar and coffee. None of which help me for the two exams I have left. Oh well, only three full days of school to go.
At some point I decided that every good situation comedy has a good cast, and in this massive joke of a situation comedy we call life, a good cast makes it all the more bearable. So here they are, the Cast, Crew, and everyone that makes my life more bearable.
1:40am
This morning I remembered why I cared for Lauren so much. She makes me laugh, and is able to put serious on holiday and just have fun. These are amiable qualities and hard to find in a person.. For example
Lozzie: barry the banana and his friend Andrew apple were walking along the street
Snowman: yeah
lozzie: when all of a sudden
Snowman: uh oh
lozzie: stacey strawberry the sweetest of all fruits passed by
Snowman: oooh. I was preparing for disaster
Snowman: but there it is, a strawberry
lozzie: WAIT!
lozzie: there is more
lozzie: as soon as barry banana and andrew apple sat stacey strawberry
lozzie: they ran to greet her
Snowman: hang on. how do banana's and apples run?
lozzie: shh your ruining it
lozzie: (back to teh story)
lozzie: they had only seen her beauty on fruit box tv
lozzie: and read about her in the daily bite
lozzie: barry the banana was flabbergasted and peeled at the site of her
Snowman: i would be too, that stacy strawberry is a fox
lozzie: lol
lozzie: well as barry banana and andrew apple where fixed on stacey strawberry
lozzie: katie kiwifruit passed by
lozzie: now katie kiwifruit is deeply in love with barry banana so she wasn't happy at all
lozzie: when katie kiwifruit gets angry the whole greengrocer knows about it
lozzie: the crying capsicums started yelling "fight fight"
lozzie: no sooner did katie kiwifruit storm up to stacey strawberry and slapped the seeds right out of her
Snowman: oooh cat fight
lozzie: barry the banana was not impressed
and how can you fault that logic?
lozzie: i am telling the story and my name is lauren
lozzie: therefore i am right
Snowman: i forgot the golden rule didn’t i?
lozzie: u sure did
Snowman: sorry, continue
So apparently there was method to my madness. Back when we were together. Its easy to forget why you gave a damn sometimes, then you get reminded and lament what you lost all over again, Cursing yourself for not enjoying it while you had it.
November 19, 2002
Today I realise how my life haunted by clocks and bells. Everywhere I go there’s a bloody clock staring at me, or some damn bell ringing happily. Reminding me of course, how fast time is passing me by. Right now, writing in my journal there’s a bloody clock winking at me on the toolbar. This realization comes to me today because today I spent about 3 hours wishing that the clock would speed up. (Rather than passing my Chemistry and Maths exams) It’s creepy though, when you think about it. We all place a lot of value in time. I’ve spent days wishing that clocks would speed up, in school, tests, exams, boring lectures, bad theatre, church, and never realizing that someday ill wish that I didn’t waste that time. (like right now, when I wish I had been paying attention instead of clock watching in all my maths and chemistry Classes this year). Every day we watch those charming little hands turning away without actually thinking that they are like tiny scissors, slowly but surely trimming away the time we have left. Everyone wears a watch. EVERYONE! Its like some sort of bizarre handcuff that manacles us to time, ensure we’re never late, that we meet deadlines that we’re always on time. I renounce time, (I’m always late anyway).
As for that remark about bells, I don’t know, it just seems to fit. I have a christening bell; there are school bells every day. I wake up every morning to the alarm bell. One day if there happens to be a lady crazy enough to want to marry me the event will be heralded by the peal of a bell. Then one-day years from now, ill die, and at the funeral the church bells will ring, hallmarking the end of my life. And any mourners that may be hanging around will no doubt look at their watch and wonder how much time is left. Not realizing that mine has run out. And one day theirs will too. .
End of rant.
I’m going to get some food.
I think OD thinks I’m some sort of man whore, or pimp or something. Every time he sees me I’m alone with one girl or a small group of girls. Hmmm, probably should do something about that. If I have to see him shake his head at me one more time, ill go mad.
November 18, 2002
*Sigh* I really should be studying. I’m going to bomb so bad in chem tomorrow, and in maths, physics, indo. . ok, so every exam I have left. I think I did ok in English though.
Who am I kidding?. I’m so slack. Ill suited for the IB. The IB is for diligent students. I feel like some sort of stowaway. Like some sort of limpet Lets face it kids, I’m a barnacle! and that thought alone is so sad I think I’m going to cry.
No! ill do something productive, like hit the books. Or I could just sleep. Sleep is fun, and doesn’t hurt my brain like study does.
Plus its late, and I have an exam in the morning . . .
November 17, 2002.
I woke up early this morning. I had to go swimming. My arms hurt, my legs hurt, my brain hurts. Hauling your lazy ass 3ks through a pool will do that to you. Now, I’m not only sore, but I’m tired as hell. Getting up in the morning is way overrated, rising in the PM is more my style. Actually, fuck that, if it wasn’t for school I would be completely nocturnal. It’s more fun that way, plus the night always smells good. I sleep with my window open. I realized that maybe I should do a bit more study than I have been for these exams. They don’t count, but if I can’t motivate myself now, how the hell am I going to do it when they mean something? English tomorrow, I don’t even have a quotes sheet. Not that ill need one, I can remember most of them. I hope. Fingers crossed.
THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1) Eat an entire water buffalo. (including the horns)
2) Dress up as Santa and try to solicit money from shoppers in rundle mall in the middle of July
3) Spray paint myself silver and stalk someone, but stop moving whenever they look around.
4) Attempt to direct traffic through a busy intersection dressed as the rear end of a horse wearing a policeman’s hat.
November 16, 2002
Yawn, the end of another day. I tried again today. I got up, made myself breakfast, and had a shower. Was all set to study. Dale and Nic rang. I had lunch with them instead., Helped them revise for French. All I know how to say in French is “I don’t speak French” and “I like chicken”. As you can imagine I was a big help. I’m home now, lost all the desire and drive for study, not that I had that much to start with. I think I need to hurt something. Unreal tournament sounds like a good idea.
God, I’m so hopeless. No will power. None at all. One of these days someone is going to turn up on my door and sweet talk me into some strange religious cult. Think of me when I forsake my name for a number and wind up living in Arizona in a tent, praying to the gods of the sand to smile upon me,
Until then, I guess this is number 2934-432 signing off.
November 15, 2002
Ok, I tried, I really tried. I got my books out and everything, I tried to study! They gave us a whole day off for it. But did I do it? Well, I did a bit. Not that I learnt anything. I never do. So here I am talking to you. I don’t want to fail.
uh oh, there it is again, the books are calling me. The little angel on my shoulder is telling me to go do some work
”Do it nick you don’t want to fail. You want to be a good boy. Look. The elements. Equations, formulae. Learn!”
The devil told me to fuck it and eat some ice cream.
So here I am. Eating ice cream.
*Sigh* I really should stop listening to that devil.
But his ideas are always the more fun ones. .. .
November 14, 2002
I’m Nick Lucas, and I’m an insomniac. This is not a healthy thing for a teenage boy to be. I need my beauty sleep. (Like, really badly). But no, my body betrays me and decides that it would rather sit and stare at the ceiling for a few hours rather than catch some z’s. I spent three hours last night staring at my clock. Those damn little blinky red numbers sat there turning slowly for three hours!.
I give up. I really do.
November 13. 2002
Today emode decided for me that I am Smart 'n' Sexy
Your intellect puts you in a class above the rest, and it creates a sexual aura that's untouchable by people who possess nothing more than a pretty face. You have people and intellectual smarts and are able to juggle them accordingly. Your sense of the world at large and your world around you draws people to your mind, and what a beautiful mind it is.
Whether you look the part in horn-rimmed glasses and a finely pressed suit or dress simply in a T-shirt and jeans, your style really takes off when you flaunt your intellectual prowess. You're probably happier volunteering for a good cause, like tutoring kids, than spending all night partying with friends — well, at least some of the time. You've read the classics, or at least know what they are, and get the greatest rush when you can fully connect with people — both mind and body. While you may have the looks as well, it's your brains that turn up the heat wherever you go. you're quite the Casanova! You know how to play the dating game; in fact, you're damn good at it. We can tell you're a real woman-magnet and are never without an admirer or three. When combined with your significant charm, your attentive, sensitive demeanor makes you irresistible. Someone definitely made sure that you know how to treat a woman — ladies always feel special and appreciated when you're with them. You've got a knack for expressing yourself and showing your interest without looking too eager, too. That's a difficult balancing act, and you deserve a pat on the back for perfecting it. At the rate you're going, you won't be dating much longer before you score your dream girl!
Hmmm, funny that. Good work emode.
I don’t believe a word of it, but it shows how bored I am lately. Maybe I should do some sort of study or maybe I should find out what kind of tropical fruit I am .. . hmmm, choices choices.
November 12, 2002
Ok, so I’ve never been one to really write a journal, seems like too much work, but with a computer in front of you all you need to do is hit the buttons in the right order, none of this picking up a pen crap, putting it on paper and scrawling patterns.
I have no idea why I am writing this now, partly out of boredom I guess. It’s a way to pass the time. Plus writing is liberating. I enjoy it. Who writes a journal that starts in the middle of November? Me I guess, I wonder how long it will last before I get sick of it.