A few notes about my day.
First off the bat, I would like to offer my warmest and heartiest conception day wishes to Julia. She seems to think that today was the day that she was concieved. She is also the only person that I know who can publish this in everyones diary, and then recieve cards (like birthday cards) congratulating her on being concieved. Well done.
Today was also home to my Great Gatsby test essay. I don't think that I did famously well but you never can tell. I also sat the remainder of my Physics test, the one that i didnt finish yesterday. I redid the answers that I started in radians (which was a pain in the hole) and then did the questions that I could have studied for last night but didn't.
We then had an assembly on how to act at an assembly. A "clean up the school time" which was a waste of effort. Then Daw ran a "lets see who can stand on their head longer contest" He won, three times, but lost his vision, hearing, sense of taste and about 1 million brain cells along with his dignity.
So, all in all it was a fairly average Friday. Very boring.
Don't eat the yellow snow
Friday, February 28, 2003
Today, I took a drive. A drive around my area at 60kmph. I decided to savour it because as of tomorrow, our retard of a government decided to drop the speed limit to 50kmph. Now, of course, this makes lots of people, me especially want too kick the collective asses of everyone who is in a position of power. 50kmph produces problems, lots of them, It sits between gears on a manual, and its difficult to maintain in an automatic, the cars just seem to seek out the level by themselves. I don't think that these people actually know how slow 50 is. Remember those days when you were trying to drive somewhere, and there was a little man in a hat in the lane in front of you driving about 10 ks below the speed limit? That dude was going 50. Now, stop and imagine that every driver on the goddamn road is that little man....
Infuriating isnt it?
Whats worse is now those little men in hats, the real ones will be driving at 40! Forty! thats really really slow.
The ad campaign justifying the change is "50 K streets are safer streets" I beg to differ, sure, you will stop faster if something runs out in front of you, but how often does that happen? What is more likely to happen is you will get shot, stabbed, maimed or beaten by some over worked, underpaid and sexually frustrated office worker who hasn't had the time for his morning coffee cause he had to get up earlier to drive to work on 50 k streets.
Their main argument? If you are driving at 50 k's an hour, you will stop 10 meters sooner. Well, I have a newsflash for you, If you drop the speed down to forty, the stopping distance is even shorter! And if you take it down to twenty, It is even shorter still! In fact, if you make it ten, you will be able to stop in a fraction of the time that it takes you to stop at 50! Why dont they do this? Because it is impractical! Noone would ever get any where! So why did they drop it to 50? People are still going to be hit by cars, there are still going to be accidents. Worse still there are going to be more frustrated people on the road with less patience to drive carefully.
Its going to cause confusion, rage and general discontent, But what is Government for?
I want to kick their collective asses.
Infuriating isnt it?
Whats worse is now those little men in hats, the real ones will be driving at 40! Forty! thats really really slow.
The ad campaign justifying the change is "50 K streets are safer streets" I beg to differ, sure, you will stop faster if something runs out in front of you, but how often does that happen? What is more likely to happen is you will get shot, stabbed, maimed or beaten by some over worked, underpaid and sexually frustrated office worker who hasn't had the time for his morning coffee cause he had to get up earlier to drive to work on 50 k streets.
Their main argument? If you are driving at 50 k's an hour, you will stop 10 meters sooner. Well, I have a newsflash for you, If you drop the speed down to forty, the stopping distance is even shorter! And if you take it down to twenty, It is even shorter still! In fact, if you make it ten, you will be able to stop in a fraction of the time that it takes you to stop at 50! Why dont they do this? Because it is impractical! Noone would ever get any where! So why did they drop it to 50? People are still going to be hit by cars, there are still going to be accidents. Worse still there are going to be more frustrated people on the road with less patience to drive carefully.
Its going to cause confusion, rage and general discontent, But what is Government for?
I want to kick their collective asses.
Thursday, February 27, 2003
I sat a physic test today. It was long, longer than a lessons worth, So our teacher collected them up so we can finish them tomorrow. Good thing too, because about three hours later I realised that my calculator was set to radians.
THAT IS A BIG MOTHER OF A PROBLEM
Cause that means that I would have failed. Cause everything would have been wrong.
But I get to fix it all up tomorrow. Crisis over.
Yeah, This is the stuff that worries me , I'm a nerd. I know.
THAT IS A BIG MOTHER OF A PROBLEM
Cause that means that I would have failed. Cause everything would have been wrong.
But I get to fix it all up tomorrow. Crisis over.
Yeah, This is the stuff that worries me , I'm a nerd. I know.
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Well, I'm a hero. I brought blogging to the masses at Mercedes. I'm like Jesus. He took drinking wine before 10 am on a Sunday morning and called it worship. (I thought people who drank that early are alcoholics, turns out they are called Acolytes, go figure). Anyway, they should make a big statue of me, computer in one hand, other hand blessing the huddled masses, with a door in my forehead with a cuckoo bird coming out of it.
by the way, Hillier joins the ranks of the bloggers, hit him at www.shortmanistheman.blogspot.com
I dont know how long any of these are going to last by the way, but we hope that everyone is as devout as I am.
by the way, Hillier joins the ranks of the bloggers, hit him at www.shortmanistheman.blogspot.com
I dont know how long any of these are going to last by the way, but we hope that everyone is as devout as I am.
Learning About God
Here I am, sitting again in one of these Godforsaken RE lessons that I have wasted at least two lessons a week for the last five years supposedly "learning about God". Our RE coordinator is famous for his dedication to the cause, and you have to admire a man who dedicates his life to trying to give faith to a school full of bratty teenagers. However, I haven't learnt anything. At all. My RE lessons have always been occupied by sleeping or doing homework or something that doesnt really relate to religion at all. Every few weeks or so, they will give us an assignment with a topic like "Choose a member of the local church and inteview them about their role" or variations of thereof.
Its very very depressing. I hate RE
On a slightly lighter note, I've managed to figure out a way to get to blogger on the computers at school with minimum of fuss. This means I can sit, wasting my precious time, that could be used for studying or something constructive by blogging. It's a beautiful thing, because as I look to my right now, I can see three blogger editing screens in a row. It seems that I have started a trend, and now I have competition. This new school blogging phenomena also means that people, such as NICOLA and SONYA can sit reading out loud over my shoulder in an attempt to piss me off, or even predict what I am going to write next.
They tried to sabotage it while I was talking to Betros, but they pressed the wrong button, because they are silly. Both of them.
However, now that I am sandwiched between them and they are glaring at me and giving me daggers, I think I might say something nice about them ..........
They are cool, even if they are silly. Good work guys.
Nicola called me yuckky. Sonya tried to sabotage me. Apparently they dont like being called silly,
Ack, have to to some TOK homework before next lesson.
later readers
Here I am, sitting again in one of these Godforsaken RE lessons that I have wasted at least two lessons a week for the last five years supposedly "learning about God". Our RE coordinator is famous for his dedication to the cause, and you have to admire a man who dedicates his life to trying to give faith to a school full of bratty teenagers. However, I haven't learnt anything. At all. My RE lessons have always been occupied by sleeping or doing homework or something that doesnt really relate to religion at all. Every few weeks or so, they will give us an assignment with a topic like "Choose a member of the local church and inteview them about their role" or variations of thereof.
Its very very depressing. I hate RE
On a slightly lighter note, I've managed to figure out a way to get to blogger on the computers at school with minimum of fuss. This means I can sit, wasting my precious time, that could be used for studying or something constructive by blogging. It's a beautiful thing, because as I look to my right now, I can see three blogger editing screens in a row. It seems that I have started a trend, and now I have competition. This new school blogging phenomena also means that people, such as NICOLA and SONYA can sit reading out loud over my shoulder in an attempt to piss me off, or even predict what I am going to write next.
They tried to sabotage it while I was talking to Betros, but they pressed the wrong button, because they are silly. Both of them.
However, now that I am sandwiched between them and they are glaring at me and giving me daggers, I think I might say something nice about them ..........
They are cool, even if they are silly. Good work guys.
Nicola called me yuckky. Sonya tried to sabotage me. Apparently they dont like being called silly,
Ack, have to to some TOK homework before next lesson.
later readers
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Annnnnd another one. One of the chicks took the plunge, Congrats to Mykiela, Giving birth to a bouncing baby blog. Visit her at www.theothersideofthestory.blogspot.com/
By the way, links to everyone can be found down the side of the main page there.
Any body else want a bit of the action?
By the way, links to everyone can be found down the side of the main page there.
Any body else want a bit of the action?
Another big kick in the ass for the Grammies.
If you tape the three and a half hours of it, Fast forward all the Ad's boring speeches and only watch the music and the actual awards, you have about 25 minutes worth of content. Bargain.
If you tape the three and a half hours of it, Fast forward all the Ad's boring speeches and only watch the music and the actual awards, you have about 25 minutes worth of content. Bargain.
Monday, February 24, 2003
OK, Nick's call on the grammies.
For starters, there are some great performances, specially John Mayer and James Taylor back to back. They class as what you might call my heroes on a good day. Mayer took out the best male performance for "Your Body Is a Wonderland" which was pretty cool too.
The only downer being that Eminiem won an award and made me want to kick his ass.
For starters, there are some great performances, specially John Mayer and James Taylor back to back. They class as what you might call my heroes on a good day. Mayer took out the best male performance for "Your Body Is a Wonderland" which was pretty cool too.
The only downer being that Eminiem won an award and made me want to kick his ass.
It would appear that I have started some sort of trend. We have new blogs springing up from everywhere. Betros's (Stuff and Assorted things) and now Dutchy has come up with his own!. Visit him at www.martymoo.blogspot.com/. Find out what goes on in the head of a Dutchman.
While we are at it, It would be good to get some chicks in on the action. So where are ya ladies?
The addy is www.blogger.com, and we love them for everything they do for us. Its real easy to set up and lots of fun!
Besides, we need a female veiwpoint occasionally, and Dutchy is the closest we have right now.
So, Ladies! We needya!
While we are at it, It would be good to get some chicks in on the action. So where are ya ladies?
The addy is www.blogger.com, and we love them for everything they do for us. Its real easy to set up and lots of fun!
Besides, we need a female veiwpoint occasionally, and Dutchy is the closest we have right now.
So, Ladies! We needya!
Sunday, February 23, 2003
Playtime at Kindy
Georgie: Lets play a fun game, its called, "Pin the weapon of mass destruction on a country". Its really fun!
Hussainy: Yay! I like games, How do we play?
Georgie: We will all play, Wont we?
Johnny: Ill play, but only if you doGeorgie. How does it work?
Georgie: Well, we all take something out of this bag, and hide it somewhere, and then I have to try and find the weapon of mass destruction.
All: Wow, Sounds like fun, Lets Play!
(*Georgie closes his eyes, all reach into bag, remove an object and hide it*)
Georgie: Right, now, I think that you have the Weapons of Mass destruction Hussainy! I can see you there hiding in the Sand pit.
Hussainy: No, you are wrong Georgie, I didn't get the weapons of mass destruction. I got this tin of oil instead!
Georgie: You are lying! I know you have the weapon!
Hussainy: No! I dont! all I have is Oil, this stupid hat and Aviator sunglasses!
Georgie: I dont believe you. I'm going to check. . . But I'm too lazy to do it myself, Ill get those disabled blind kids to do it.
Blixy: Duh! Whatever you say Georgie.
(*Blixy and his pals check the sandbox for the weapon*)
Blixy: Daaah, We cant find it Georgie.
Georgie: But I know you have it! He has it doesnt he?
Tony and Johnny: I wasnt looking! I dont know! but lets send our friends over to help Georgie!
Tony and Johnny's friends: But we could get hurt in the sandpit! We dont even LIKE Georgie that much! You just want Georgie to be your friend so he will stand up for you when everyone makes fun of your misshapen head! Besides, Look, that North Korean Exchange student has it!
Kim Jong-il -y: Haha, Look, I have the weapon.
Georgie: Hussainy, if you don't give me the weapon now, Im going to send my friends over to beat you up!
Hussainy: But I dont have it!, He does look!
Kim Jong-il -y: Weapon weapon weapon, I have the weapon. Die Georgie! I never like you anyway!
Georgie: Im going to count to three. If I dont have the weapon you are going to get beaten up!
Kim Jong-il -y: I give you weapon! I give you weapon right between eyes! You watch it! You watch!
Everyone else: Hey! wait a second! We dont want a fight! Stop Fighting, Its bad. Everyones going to get hurt!
Johnny: Dont worry, What they are saying doesn't reflect what they are thinking
Georgie: 1....2.....3. That's it fellas! Go get him!
Hussainy: Argh! Alright! we will share my oil! I dont want it all anyway!
Georgie: No, I want my oil for me! MINE MINE MINE! GIMMIE GIMME GIMMIE!
(*A struggle ensues, Georgie claims Hussainys Oil, Lots of their friends die*)
Georgie: Ive got the oil, Ive got the oil!
Everyone: Werent you looking for weapons of mass destruction?
Georgie: What? Oh yeah! I was, he was using oil to make weapons. Yeah , thats it.
Kim Jong-il -y: Haha! I still have weapon! Look, It glow pretty green!
Everyone: Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
(*The north Korean exchange student uses the weapon, Everybody dies)
Teacher: Now children, play nice and stop being so damn immature.
Hmm, that reminds me of something, but I can't think what.
Georgie: Lets play a fun game, its called, "Pin the weapon of mass destruction on a country". Its really fun!
Hussainy: Yay! I like games, How do we play?
Georgie: We will all play, Wont we?
Johnny: Ill play, but only if you doGeorgie. How does it work?
Georgie: Well, we all take something out of this bag, and hide it somewhere, and then I have to try and find the weapon of mass destruction.
All: Wow, Sounds like fun, Lets Play!
(*Georgie closes his eyes, all reach into bag, remove an object and hide it*)
Georgie: Right, now, I think that you have the Weapons of Mass destruction Hussainy! I can see you there hiding in the Sand pit.
Hussainy: No, you are wrong Georgie, I didn't get the weapons of mass destruction. I got this tin of oil instead!
Georgie: You are lying! I know you have the weapon!
Hussainy: No! I dont! all I have is Oil, this stupid hat and Aviator sunglasses!
Georgie: I dont believe you. I'm going to check. . . But I'm too lazy to do it myself, Ill get those disabled blind kids to do it.
Blixy: Duh! Whatever you say Georgie.
(*Blixy and his pals check the sandbox for the weapon*)
Blixy: Daaah, We cant find it Georgie.
Georgie: But I know you have it! He has it doesnt he?
Tony and Johnny: I wasnt looking! I dont know! but lets send our friends over to help Georgie!
Tony and Johnny's friends: But we could get hurt in the sandpit! We dont even LIKE Georgie that much! You just want Georgie to be your friend so he will stand up for you when everyone makes fun of your misshapen head! Besides, Look, that North Korean Exchange student has it!
Kim Jong-il -y: Haha, Look, I have the weapon.
Georgie: Hussainy, if you don't give me the weapon now, Im going to send my friends over to beat you up!
Hussainy: But I dont have it!, He does look!
Kim Jong-il -y: Weapon weapon weapon, I have the weapon. Die Georgie! I never like you anyway!
Georgie: Im going to count to three. If I dont have the weapon you are going to get beaten up!
Kim Jong-il -y: I give you weapon! I give you weapon right between eyes! You watch it! You watch!
Everyone else: Hey! wait a second! We dont want a fight! Stop Fighting, Its bad. Everyones going to get hurt!
Johnny: Dont worry, What they are saying doesn't reflect what they are thinking
Georgie: 1....2.....3. That's it fellas! Go get him!
Hussainy: Argh! Alright! we will share my oil! I dont want it all anyway!
Georgie: No, I want my oil for me! MINE MINE MINE! GIMMIE GIMME GIMMIE!
(*A struggle ensues, Georgie claims Hussainys Oil, Lots of their friends die*)
Georgie: Ive got the oil, Ive got the oil!
Everyone: Werent you looking for weapons of mass destruction?
Georgie: What? Oh yeah! I was, he was using oil to make weapons. Yeah , thats it.
Kim Jong-il -y: Haha! I still have weapon! Look, It glow pretty green!
Everyone: Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
(*The north Korean exchange student uses the weapon, Everybody dies)
Teacher: Now children, play nice and stop being so damn immature.
Hmm, that reminds me of something, but I can't think what.
Some problems with the movie Anaconda.
-It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role
-It has Ice T in an acting role
-Near the end there is a waterfall that is running up
-It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role.
-Our "Jenny from the block" fires a bolt action rifle without operating the bolt 4 times in sucession
-The Anaconda eats one of the characters and moments later is seen underwater with the body (all of it) in its belly, so clearly that you can make out the face of the guy screaming from within.
-It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role.
-the head of the anaconda looks about as scary as a snake out of a packet of "snakes alive" (and I'm fairly sure it was used in Crocodile dundee three)
-Our scary snake is able to take four rifle rounds in the head, have four bullet wounds showing, and then in the next scene be completely healed
-It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role.
and the bigget problem of them all.
It is a movie about a giant snake that goes around eating people for no good reason. (and It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role.)
-It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role
-It has Ice T in an acting role
-Near the end there is a waterfall that is running up
-It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role.
-Our "Jenny from the block" fires a bolt action rifle without operating the bolt 4 times in sucession
-The Anaconda eats one of the characters and moments later is seen underwater with the body (all of it) in its belly, so clearly that you can make out the face of the guy screaming from within.
-It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role.
-the head of the anaconda looks about as scary as a snake out of a packet of "snakes alive" (and I'm fairly sure it was used in Crocodile dundee three)
-Our scary snake is able to take four rifle rounds in the head, have four bullet wounds showing, and then in the next scene be completely healed
-It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role.
and the bigget problem of them all.
It is a movie about a giant snake that goes around eating people for no good reason. (and It has Jennifer Lopez in an acting role.)
Saturday, February 22, 2003
Today was a goodish sort of day.
I slept in. Woke up feeling slightly better, finished my maths homework in 15 minutes. Played some guitar, watched my Oasis DVD and then went shopping.
I won 8 bucks on an instant scratchie! woo hoo.
And I bought myself a new capo for my guitar, Its a Jim Dunlop Trigger Capo acoustic for anyone who gives a shit.
Now I'm contemplating doing some Physics revision..
hmmm
I slept in. Woke up feeling slightly better, finished my maths homework in 15 minutes. Played some guitar, watched my Oasis DVD and then went shopping.
I won 8 bucks on an instant scratchie! woo hoo.
And I bought myself a new capo for my guitar, Its a Jim Dunlop Trigger Capo acoustic for anyone who gives a shit.
Now I'm contemplating doing some Physics revision..
hmmm
Friday, February 21, 2003
You people have no idea how many times I log onto my own blog expecting to see new entries and then go "Oh goon, I haven't written anything new lately". Its a problem
Ok, Crisis over. The Great Gatsby assignment is done with. Final word count: 4224. I just slipped it into the marking tray in Robertson's office. Thats right, Because this is the first Blog entry ever to be written at school. I only just figured out a way to get around the bordermanager. I'm surrounded by people, its lunchtime, Im hungry, sick and cranky. Lucky I have a free lesson 5, time enough to prepare this assignment thats due in Indo lesson six. I just left to go get my indo books from my locker and practically had to paste death threats over the computer so the stinky and greasy little Year 8's wouldnt steal it and gunk it up. Damn them!
sigh, Time to get the nose back to the grindstone I guess.
later sports fans.
sigh, Time to get the nose back to the grindstone I guess.
later sports fans.
Thursday, February 20, 2003
Ever woken up in the morning and gone.
"Good Christ I feel like crap warmed up"
and then looked out the window and said..
"Man, its all grey out"
This is where I would advise you to shut the hell up and not say what I said which was
"Today couldn't be any worse"
BECAUSE! five minutes into your day when you haven't had coffee and you are grouchy is not the time to make a judgement like that. Lets face it, the minute those words come out your mouth, God goes..
"Can't get any worse ey? Ill show you."
And makes it worse.
like for example it could start raining.
you could be out of instant coffee
your bus could be late to school
The sign in computer could be busted (due to rain) and you could have to walk to the senior study (in the rain) to sign in
You could lose time from your free because of an Athletics meeting
You could waste your free helping some dude with his physics homework rather than doing your own
You could have an english assignment that needs doing, only to be kicked out of a computer room.
You could work through recess
You could have double maths
You could wind up walking home in the rain.
You could stub your toe and have it swell to the size of the Goodyear blimp
You could be sick and feeling like shit, but instead of going to bed staying up late to finish aforementioned english assignment due period one tomorrow.
Or all of the above shit and more could happen to you in one day. This is what happens when you play games with God. Don't tempt the Big guy by saying stuff like
"Today couldnt get any worse"
Because it could, and will.
"Good Christ I feel like crap warmed up"
and then looked out the window and said..
"Man, its all grey out"
This is where I would advise you to shut the hell up and not say what I said which was
"Today couldn't be any worse"
BECAUSE! five minutes into your day when you haven't had coffee and you are grouchy is not the time to make a judgement like that. Lets face it, the minute those words come out your mouth, God goes..
"Can't get any worse ey? Ill show you."
And makes it worse.
like for example it could start raining.
you could be out of instant coffee
your bus could be late to school
The sign in computer could be busted (due to rain) and you could have to walk to the senior study (in the rain) to sign in
You could lose time from your free because of an Athletics meeting
You could waste your free helping some dude with his physics homework rather than doing your own
You could have an english assignment that needs doing, only to be kicked out of a computer room.
You could work through recess
You could have double maths
You could wind up walking home in the rain.
You could stub your toe and have it swell to the size of the Goodyear blimp
You could be sick and feeling like shit, but instead of going to bed staying up late to finish aforementioned english assignment due period one tomorrow.
Or all of the above shit and more could happen to you in one day. This is what happens when you play games with God. Don't tempt the Big guy by saying stuff like
"Today couldnt get any worse"
Because it could, and will.
Im sick again.
I call this particular strain of disease the "Sneak up and screw you over" virus.
Why? because thats exactly what it does. You start to get stressed, you stay up late to get the workload whittled down and then it sneaks up and screws you over.
So, Sore throat, Headache, runny nose, stuffed head, dry cough, dizziness and I still have to go to school.
Normally the sneak up and screw you over virus waits until the end of term to do this to me. I guess it comes early this year.
I call this particular strain of disease the "Sneak up and screw you over" virus.
Why? because thats exactly what it does. You start to get stressed, you stay up late to get the workload whittled down and then it sneaks up and screws you over.
So, Sore throat, Headache, runny nose, stuffed head, dry cough, dizziness and I still have to go to school.
Normally the sneak up and screw you over virus waits until the end of term to do this to me. I guess it comes early this year.
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Lets face it. I got bored. It was time for another layout change. I'm still too lazy to get an ACTUAL site up and running, so I'm piggybacking on other peoples templates until then. This one is fun. I will iron out all the bugs in the next few days.
However, New features include . . .
-Links : Yeah, they are a little gay at the moment, I will find sites to add.
-A Contact Link - Yahuh, its right up the top there, send me an email. Comment on what you read.
-Super cool easy on the eye colour scheme.
-Ability to add pictures from my digicam (Not strictly template, A combined effort of Betros teaching me a way to do it and me getting my fucking digicam working)
-Readable and working (fingers crossed) archive links
-Neater Layout.
Hope you all enjoy. If theres any major bugs, Hit me on the email, yeah?
However, New features include . . .
-Links : Yeah, they are a little gay at the moment, I will find sites to add.
-A Contact Link - Yahuh, its right up the top there, send me an email. Comment on what you read.
-Super cool easy on the eye colour scheme.
-Ability to add pictures from my digicam (Not strictly template, A combined effort of Betros teaching me a way to do it and me getting my fucking digicam working)
-Readable and working (fingers crossed) archive links
-Neater Layout.
Hope you all enjoy. If theres any major bugs, Hit me on the email, yeah?
I wonder if this will work, I only just figured out how to do it. But anyway, if it did, this is my dream car. The 67 Shelby Mustang GT500. A very very sexy car.
Hey hey, A big hurrah and congratulations to Betros, He started his own blog, it can be found at
http://www.stuffandassortedthings.blogspot.com/
although he warns that the site addy may change at some point, be warned.
http://www.stuffandassortedthings.blogspot.com/
although he warns that the site addy may change at some point, be warned.
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Swing your arms from side to side. . .
I was on my way home from Bible study this afternoon when I thought, "Oh dang and blast, I have a chemistry test to study for tomorrow" So I immediately sat down and sweated over my books for two hours, then I spent another four bringing myself up to date in every subject, alphabetized my notes, shined my school shoes, re tailored my school uniform, and then did some EXTRA homework (especially in maths) just to get ahead. I was halfway through my second lot of prayers for the night before I ironed my Wednesday underpants and put them on the hanger in preparation for tomorrow when I thought, "I should really go out into the community and do something nice for someone else" So I went and helped little old ladies over the road for an hour before returning home. . .
Its about now that regular readers of the blog are going.. . "Uhm, Nick, are you high?"
Well, No, but I am giving my old fashioned goody two shoes persona a dusting off because today, Mr Brazzatti asked me for the blog addy.
That’s right, Mr Brazzatti, the coolest mustachioed little Italian who has tried to make us learn since they brought educational Super Mario games onto the market. I am no longer in his maths class, (Which is probly a good thing, considering a nervous breakdown was inevitable for both of us if I had stayed).
However, God only knows what Johnny B has done with the addy, I mean, it could be on the staff notice board for all I know. Consequently, I am going to be forced to try and clean up, I will try to reduce random swearing as I know that Giovanni is a sensitive little man, and the amount of four letter words in this blog alone is enough to make him blush profusely, and at the end of this post I am going to be forced to add a movie style disclaimer to warn the unwary.
This document is rated GI for General Insanity
It contains : Sexual references, Extreme coarse language, Drug references, Violence, General Insanity, Harsh social commentary, Political opinions and any other offensive and crazy crap that springs to mind
Any resemblance to actual characters, situations, locations etc is purely coincidental.
I was on my way home from Bible study this afternoon when I thought, "Oh dang and blast, I have a chemistry test to study for tomorrow" So I immediately sat down and sweated over my books for two hours, then I spent another four bringing myself up to date in every subject, alphabetized my notes, shined my school shoes, re tailored my school uniform, and then did some EXTRA homework (especially in maths) just to get ahead. I was halfway through my second lot of prayers for the night before I ironed my Wednesday underpants and put them on the hanger in preparation for tomorrow when I thought, "I should really go out into the community and do something nice for someone else" So I went and helped little old ladies over the road for an hour before returning home. . .
Its about now that regular readers of the blog are going.. . "Uhm, Nick, are you high?"
Well, No, but I am giving my old fashioned goody two shoes persona a dusting off because today, Mr Brazzatti asked me for the blog addy.
That’s right, Mr Brazzatti, the coolest mustachioed little Italian who has tried to make us learn since they brought educational Super Mario games onto the market. I am no longer in his maths class, (Which is probly a good thing, considering a nervous breakdown was inevitable for both of us if I had stayed).
However, God only knows what Johnny B has done with the addy, I mean, it could be on the staff notice board for all I know. Consequently, I am going to be forced to try and clean up, I will try to reduce random swearing as I know that Giovanni is a sensitive little man, and the amount of four letter words in this blog alone is enough to make him blush profusely, and at the end of this post I am going to be forced to add a movie style disclaimer to warn the unwary.
This document is rated GI for General Insanity
It contains : Sexual references, Extreme coarse language, Drug references, Violence, General Insanity, Harsh social commentary, Political opinions and any other offensive and crazy crap that springs to mind
Any resemblance to actual characters, situations, locations etc is purely coincidental.
Saturday, February 15, 2003
A scene from NBC and Channel 7's "Scrubs" that struck a particular chord with me.
Setting the Scene: Two of the main characters, Elliot and J.D have just gotten out of bed after a night of good lovin'. J.D having lusted after her for ages, stands in the bedroom door and watches as Elliot gathers her things to leave.
Elliot: J.D, What happened last night was a wonderful mistake, but I think it would be best if we went back to the way it was before.
J.D: I totally agree.
Both laugh nervously.
Elliot: Well, I'll see you tomorrow
J.D: Tomorrow
(Elliot turns and finishes collecting her things, turning to leave)
J.D's Brain: What are you doing? Elliot's amazing and you're crazy about her! If you let her leave I'm going to do this all day. (Begins to sing Chumbawumba's "Tub thumping" in a bad cockney accent) I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN.
JD looks scared, shakes his head to try and dislodge the voice then pursues Elliot out the door.
That one scene had me in something resembling stitches for a good 10 minutes. Mainly because I identify with the voices in JD's head, I know this, because I have voices in my head too. Now I'm not talking crazy "BURN THEM BURN THEM ALL" kind of voices. Just levels of my own thinking that for some reason take on a different persona and torment me when I make the wrong decisions. Right now theres a man in my head telling me exactly what to say. Isnt that strange? He sounds very much like a mix of robin Williams and Al Gore on crack. Plus, there is this guy who sounds like Max Payne who narrates my life back to me in novel form in my head. Now that is strange! When you are getting off the bus and you hear this American guy narrating “He stepped off the bus into the sweltering heat” that’s when you go “what the?”
Setting the Scene: Two of the main characters, Elliot and J.D have just gotten out of bed after a night of good lovin'. J.D having lusted after her for ages, stands in the bedroom door and watches as Elliot gathers her things to leave.
Elliot: J.D, What happened last night was a wonderful mistake, but I think it would be best if we went back to the way it was before.
J.D: I totally agree.
Both laugh nervously.
Elliot: Well, I'll see you tomorrow
J.D: Tomorrow
(Elliot turns and finishes collecting her things, turning to leave)
J.D's Brain: What are you doing? Elliot's amazing and you're crazy about her! If you let her leave I'm going to do this all day. (Begins to sing Chumbawumba's "Tub thumping" in a bad cockney accent) I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN.
JD looks scared, shakes his head to try and dislodge the voice then pursues Elliot out the door.
That one scene had me in something resembling stitches for a good 10 minutes. Mainly because I identify with the voices in JD's head, I know this, because I have voices in my head too. Now I'm not talking crazy "BURN THEM BURN THEM ALL" kind of voices. Just levels of my own thinking that for some reason take on a different persona and torment me when I make the wrong decisions. Right now theres a man in my head telling me exactly what to say. Isnt that strange? He sounds very much like a mix of robin Williams and Al Gore on crack. Plus, there is this guy who sounds like Max Payne who narrates my life back to me in novel form in my head. Now that is strange! When you are getting off the bus and you hear this American guy narrating “He stepped off the bus into the sweltering heat” that’s when you go “what the?”
Self love and Lent.
A conversation between me and Daw. I thought it was blog worthy
alex says:are you going to give up masterbation and all forms of ejaculations for lent?
Snowman: says: no, are you?
alex says: i am considering it
Snowman: says: no you arent
alex says:arent i now
Snowman: says: thats 40 days, you will explode by then
alex says:no i wont, i will live on!
Snowman: says: your balls will implode
alex says: they most certianly will not! That is what a wet dream is for!
alex says: hey!!!!! that didnt happen in the movie!
alex says:why did he not have a wet dream in the movie!
alex says: hey!!!!!!!!!! i found an error in the movie!
alex says: anyway, what time period would i be looking at?
Snowman says: Ash Wednesday is the fifth. Thats a long time dude.
alex says: Yes. you reckon i would make it the distance?
alex says: Do you think i could get through palm sunday?
Snowman says : hahahahah
A conversation between me and Daw. I thought it was blog worthy
alex says:are you going to give up masterbation and all forms of ejaculations for lent?
Snowman: says: no, are you?
alex says: i am considering it
Snowman: says: no you arent
alex says:arent i now
Snowman: says: thats 40 days, you will explode by then
alex says:no i wont, i will live on!
Snowman: says: your balls will implode
alex says: they most certianly will not! That is what a wet dream is for!
alex says: hey!!!!! that didnt happen in the movie!
alex says:why did he not have a wet dream in the movie!
alex says: hey!!!!!!!!!! i found an error in the movie!
alex says: anyway, what time period would i be looking at?
Snowman says: Ash Wednesday is the fifth. Thats a long time dude.
alex says: Yes. you reckon i would make it the distance?
alex says: Do you think i could get through palm sunday?
Snowman says : hahahahah
I was in the car with Dutchy the other day, and a bus drove past with a big advertisment on the side that claimed
"One out of every Three women is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse"
Dutchy turns to me and goes . "hey, does that mean that the other two of every three died?"
I laughed so hard I nearly cried.
"One out of every Three women is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse"
Dutchy turns to me and goes . "hey, does that mean that the other two of every three died?"
I laughed so hard I nearly cried.
Friday, February 14, 2003
Late for school
Today was fun. English was cancelled which means I had a free first period, therefore I was not needed at school until 9:55. Plus, I had the car so I could take my sweet damn time. So, I did what anyone would be expected to do, I got up late, and watched some morning cartoons, I looked at my watch, 9:08, Plenty of time to get to school! So I cooked myself breakfast and sat down to a cup of REAL coffee and a plate of bacon and eggs, I read over the morning paper then picked up my maths book to study for the test I had in second period. Finished with that I picked up my plates, washed my dishes, cleaned the kitchen and sat down to a second cup of good coffee. Half way through that second cup, I took a look at my watch again, 9:08, Plenty of time to get to sch.... Wait a second. Deja Vu. I looked at the clock on the VCR, (which I know is always accurate, because Dad has this problem with the unset VCR clock, it flashes and crap, pisses him off. He makes sure it is always accurate).
Sweet holy Fuck! I exclaimed, startling my dog and spilling the remainder of my scalding hot coffee down the front of me. Wiping it off, and ignoring the third degree burns I grabbed an Un-Ironed uniform out of the laundry and dashed into the shower, snagging some other essentials on the way. Here's a note to the unwary, if getting ready in a hurry, DO NOT attempt to shave and brush your teeth while showering at the same time. If you sneeze, it gets messy. After I removed my toothbrush from the new hole in the roof of my mouth, and patched up the three inch long gash running from the left corner of my mouth to my left earlobe, I snagged my bag, books and jumped into the car.
Now if British comedy has taught me anything, it is that you can succesfully get changed while operating a motor vehicle, Mr Bean style. I had a head start, since I was already in nothing but a towel, but getting dressed while navigating those windy back roads was quite a challenge. The shirt went on alright, as did the undies and pants (with a bit of juggling). Shoes and socks were the problem. I was trying to pull on my left shoe when a honking from behind caused me to look up and smack the back of my head on the steering wheel. Injury number four for the day. The asswipe in the car behind me was flashing his lights and honking his horn, telling me to pull over. I mean, just cause I was swerving over the road and going about 40 kmph. Some people. Anyway, I sped up to 90 and he matched me, staying right up my arse. Now I hate tailgaters, so I decided to test some physics on him. For non-physics students, the formula F=ma implies the total force is equal to mass times acceleration. Now, how much damage do you think a 5 kilo hardcover Giancoli textbook, thrown backwards out of a car travelling at 90 Kilometers per hour will do? The answer? A fucking lot. While that asshole was attempting to prise the pieces of glass out of his face and the "Lovely Giancoli" out of the boot where it had been lodged, I was able to get my shoes on and floor it out of there. Wouldn't you know it? There is always fucking roadworks in the way when you have to go somewhere in a hurry. Not that it stressed me, I just think it will be difficult for those workers to overcome their burns as I floored it past their little stop sign and knocked the tanker pouring hot asphalt. I checked my rear view mirror, It got real messy. 10 minutes later I spun the wheel, cut off a green Camry and pulled into school. Trust my luck, the fucking student car park was full, as was the staff car park. Even the car park that is really just a space between two transportable buildings in the student lot was taken. I had to park the fucker on the main road. Some old lady tried to give me crap for driving irresponsibly and parking too close to her driveway. I immediatley apologised, Got back in my car and parked it over her driveway. Then, I ran off, maths book in hand attempting to make it to the test. As I exploded through the door of the maths room, I realised that it was empty. I checked my watch, 9:08. They should be here by... Awwww mother fucker. I looked for the room clock, it was closed in a desk drawer for some reason, but it was working. It read 4:15. Damn.
This is what school does to you. I have a million different boo boos, didnt get to sit my test, I have a construction worker shaped dent in my bonnet, several dents where the old lady went at my car with a shovel, two speeding fines and a parking ticket. AND I lost Giancoli, my physics teacher will not be impressed.
Today was fun. English was cancelled which means I had a free first period, therefore I was not needed at school until 9:55. Plus, I had the car so I could take my sweet damn time. So, I did what anyone would be expected to do, I got up late, and watched some morning cartoons, I looked at my watch, 9:08, Plenty of time to get to school! So I cooked myself breakfast and sat down to a cup of REAL coffee and a plate of bacon and eggs, I read over the morning paper then picked up my maths book to study for the test I had in second period. Finished with that I picked up my plates, washed my dishes, cleaned the kitchen and sat down to a second cup of good coffee. Half way through that second cup, I took a look at my watch again, 9:08, Plenty of time to get to sch.... Wait a second. Deja Vu. I looked at the clock on the VCR, (which I know is always accurate, because Dad has this problem with the unset VCR clock, it flashes and crap, pisses him off. He makes sure it is always accurate).
Sweet holy Fuck! I exclaimed, startling my dog and spilling the remainder of my scalding hot coffee down the front of me. Wiping it off, and ignoring the third degree burns I grabbed an Un-Ironed uniform out of the laundry and dashed into the shower, snagging some other essentials on the way. Here's a note to the unwary, if getting ready in a hurry, DO NOT attempt to shave and brush your teeth while showering at the same time. If you sneeze, it gets messy. After I removed my toothbrush from the new hole in the roof of my mouth, and patched up the three inch long gash running from the left corner of my mouth to my left earlobe, I snagged my bag, books and jumped into the car.
Now if British comedy has taught me anything, it is that you can succesfully get changed while operating a motor vehicle, Mr Bean style. I had a head start, since I was already in nothing but a towel, but getting dressed while navigating those windy back roads was quite a challenge. The shirt went on alright, as did the undies and pants (with a bit of juggling). Shoes and socks were the problem. I was trying to pull on my left shoe when a honking from behind caused me to look up and smack the back of my head on the steering wheel. Injury number four for the day. The asswipe in the car behind me was flashing his lights and honking his horn, telling me to pull over. I mean, just cause I was swerving over the road and going about 40 kmph. Some people. Anyway, I sped up to 90 and he matched me, staying right up my arse. Now I hate tailgaters, so I decided to test some physics on him. For non-physics students, the formula F=ma implies the total force is equal to mass times acceleration. Now, how much damage do you think a 5 kilo hardcover Giancoli textbook, thrown backwards out of a car travelling at 90 Kilometers per hour will do? The answer? A fucking lot. While that asshole was attempting to prise the pieces of glass out of his face and the "Lovely Giancoli" out of the boot where it had been lodged, I was able to get my shoes on and floor it out of there. Wouldn't you know it? There is always fucking roadworks in the way when you have to go somewhere in a hurry. Not that it stressed me, I just think it will be difficult for those workers to overcome their burns as I floored it past their little stop sign and knocked the tanker pouring hot asphalt. I checked my rear view mirror, It got real messy. 10 minutes later I spun the wheel, cut off a green Camry and pulled into school. Trust my luck, the fucking student car park was full, as was the staff car park. Even the car park that is really just a space between two transportable buildings in the student lot was taken. I had to park the fucker on the main road. Some old lady tried to give me crap for driving irresponsibly and parking too close to her driveway. I immediatley apologised, Got back in my car and parked it over her driveway. Then, I ran off, maths book in hand attempting to make it to the test. As I exploded through the door of the maths room, I realised that it was empty. I checked my watch, 9:08. They should be here by... Awwww mother fucker. I looked for the room clock, it was closed in a desk drawer for some reason, but it was working. It read 4:15. Damn.
This is what school does to you. I have a million different boo boos, didnt get to sit my test, I have a construction worker shaped dent in my bonnet, several dents where the old lady went at my car with a shovel, two speeding fines and a parking ticket. AND I lost Giancoli, my physics teacher will not be impressed.
As we all know the world is on the brink of yet another war. Now lots of people don't want this to happen, myself included. That's why I suggest that everyone gets behind sites like this one.
www.masturbateforpeace.com
It has a strong Anti war message behind it! and you can print your own bumperstickers!
www.masturbateforpeace.com
It has a strong Anti war message behind it! and you can print your own bumperstickers!
Thursday, February 13, 2003
And a big ol' fashioned country hello to Mr Canny. That's right. Julia's Dad has logged on, read the blog and decided that I am strange! That must have been a revelation for all you regular readers.
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
I burnt my tounge on a toasted cheese sandwich this morning. Now my tounge is all burnt and sore and fuzzy. It was the start of a great day.
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
I have a riddle for you all.
"What did the man say when he saw the ghost?"
"I'm getting a M connection, do you know a Mark or a Margaret or a Mary? I'm feeling its a strong family connection, Is it a mother or a father, a brother maybe? Do you have a close relative who has passed away recently? You did? a mother? Because I'm feeling that I should recognise this strong nurturing and maternal influence I'm feeling, also I'm feeling something about a 6? Is the number six relevant to you at all? Because I am getting a strong six, either the day six or the sixth month. You have a mother who passed on in June? Well, thats where I was getting the six from, Now did you have any unresolved issues with your mother? Because I'm getting a sense of unrest here, some sort of dispute? Your mothers name was Mary? Good, She says shes sorry, I think. Next person please?"
"What did the man say when he saw the ghost?"
"I'm getting a M connection, do you know a Mark or a Margaret or a Mary? I'm feeling its a strong family connection, Is it a mother or a father, a brother maybe? Do you have a close relative who has passed away recently? You did? a mother? Because I'm feeling that I should recognise this strong nurturing and maternal influence I'm feeling, also I'm feeling something about a 6? Is the number six relevant to you at all? Because I am getting a strong six, either the day six or the sixth month. You have a mother who passed on in June? Well, thats where I was getting the six from, Now did you have any unresolved issues with your mother? Because I'm getting a sense of unrest here, some sort of dispute? Your mothers name was Mary? Good, She says shes sorry, I think. Next person please?"
Monday, February 10, 2003
Here's a song that I dedicate to all of my teachers and people who want me to do work. I'll put the particularly relevant parts in bold type just so you dont miss the message.
Out the door just in time
Head down the 405
Gotta meet the new boss by 8 am
The phone rings in the car
The wife is working hard
She's running late tonight again
Well
I know what I've been told
You gotta work to feed the soul
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
You've got your love online
You think you're doing fine
But you're just plugged into the wall
And that deck of tarot cards
Won't get you very far
There ain't no hand to break your fall
Well
I know what I've been told
You gotta know just when to fold
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
That's right
You've crossed the finish line
Won the race but lost your mind
Was it worth it after all
I need you here with me
Cause love is all we need
Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall
Well I know what I've been told
Gotta break free to break the mold
But I can't do this all on my own
No I can't do this all on my own
I know that I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
Someday we'll be together
Someday, someday
Someday we'll be together
Someday
I'm no Superman
-Lazlo Bane ; "Superman"
I think you see why it makes sense.
Out the door just in time
Head down the 405
Gotta meet the new boss by 8 am
The phone rings in the car
The wife is working hard
She's running late tonight again
Well
I know what I've been told
You gotta work to feed the soul
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
You've got your love online
You think you're doing fine
But you're just plugged into the wall
And that deck of tarot cards
Won't get you very far
There ain't no hand to break your fall
Well
I know what I've been told
You gotta know just when to fold
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
That's right
You've crossed the finish line
Won the race but lost your mind
Was it worth it after all
I need you here with me
Cause love is all we need
Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall
Well I know what I've been told
Gotta break free to break the mold
But I can't do this all on my own
No I can't do this all on my own
I know that I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
Someday we'll be together
Someday, someday
Someday we'll be together
Someday
I'm no Superman
-Lazlo Bane ; "Superman"
I think you see why it makes sense.
Does anyone else get pissed off by people who put a positive adjective in the actual name of their product? Tasty cheese is one. I will decide for myself if I think it is tasty motherfucker, I don't need you telling me what is or isn't tasty. While you're at it, get rid of that damn tasty wheat, its not that tasty! Nice biscuits are another one, Who's to say that its actually nice! Its like subliminal messaging. You might as well just call it "Orgasm Inducing Cookies", "Cola that will produce a dizzying high when you drink it". Next thing you know they will be doing it with people. Someone will call their son or daughter Sexy, or some other positive adjective for a name.
"Hi, My name is Nick, and you are?"
"Oh, Hi, name is Sexy Jones"
"riiiight"
Its a lot like Felicity Shagwell in the second Austin Powers movie, (Or Alotta Fahgina in the first). It just shouldn't be done, People will decide for themselves what they like and what they think of it. I don't want subliminal messaging telling me what to do.
IGNORE THE FOLLOWING SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE
Drink Coke
Sigh, what is the world coming to?
its sad.
"Hi, My name is Nick, and you are?"
"Oh, Hi, name is Sexy Jones"
"riiiight"
Its a lot like Felicity Shagwell in the second Austin Powers movie, (Or Alotta Fahgina in the first). It just shouldn't be done, People will decide for themselves what they like and what they think of it. I don't want subliminal messaging telling me what to do.
IGNORE THE FOLLOWING SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE
Drink Coke
Sigh, what is the world coming to?
its sad.
I did a little writing for our site that we were going to get going a while ago, buuuut it flopped, we got booted from the webspace cause we didnt get enough hits during development. Anyway, its a shame to see good advice go to waste, So here's what I have to offer, De stress tips for IB'ers (and anyone studying really) and some tips to surviving that final year of school. Hope you enjoy.
There are some days when I wind up so browbeaten, tired and pissed off at the world that I regret ever doing IB. It’s a common emotion. Therefore it is good to have some sort of outlet to get rid of the strain, de-stress and make everything good again. So here it is, fantastic ways to get rid of the strain.
1) First off, I know when the workload has got you down it is tempting to start banging your head against a brick wall and hope that it all goes away. BUT this never works, the work is still there afterwards. (Believe me I know, many nights sitting at my desk I have pounded my head against the hardwood for so long, my forehead has taken on a distinctly woody looking appearance. I have to use Mr. Sheen to clean my head.) Meditation is a good way to de-stress yourself. The following reading is a good one that I often use.
“Imagine yourself in a jungle, the wind is blowing in the trees, soft squeaks and squawks come from hidden birds and animals. The sky is a pure and flawless blue, dotted with small and fluffy clouds. You find yourself sitting by a stream near a small waterfall. The water is trickling gently, making soft burbling noises. All is calm and good. You cast your eyes to the stream and the water is so crisp and so clear that you can see right through it. It is so clear in fact that you can clearly make out the features of (INSERT NAME OF the teacher, student, co-coordinator, IBO board member or IB examiner who is making your life a living hell here) whose head you are holding under the water”
That always helps.
2) In the back of the IB syllabus, all the way in the back, in very very small print is a final clause that says all IB students get one secret killing per week they are enrolled in the program. This means, that on Sunday night, you can slip into the darkness and take one human life, this way Monday morning you can breathe a little easier and all the stress is gone.
3) Get crazy drunk on weekends. OK, so it only delays you doing the work, but while you are drifting in an alcohol induced stupor the last thing on your mind is what is due on Monday, as a matter of fact, about the only thing that will be on your mind is remembering to breathe. HOWEVER, party in moderation. If you want to drink, drink, if you want to get wasted, do that too, if you don’t want to do either, just sit around and talk to drunk people. However, remember that you do need sleep and trying to write that English essay due Monday with a crippling hangover is NOT a good idea. Your English teacher WILL know. Later on, when all the work is done get crazy drunk and do whatever you want, you’ve earned it.
4) Punch something. Convention says that this should be a pillow, but walls, strangers and inanimate objects make worthy substitutes. Anyway, a sizeable pummeling of anything will help to calm you down after a hard day.
5) Watch a violent movie. It will help. I know that watching Bruce Willis constantly clobber Eastern Europeans makes me feel better. With the wide range of action movies available out there, there is plenty of punches, kicks, gunfights, car chases, semi-clad women and people jumping through windows to get you through a year or two’s worth of stress and strain.
6) Strings of mass cursing. Nothing better than wandering off to a nice quiet place in nature, taking a big deep breath and cursing so bad that it would make even the hardiest of sailors blush a deep red. That REALLY de-stresses you. Remember though that if people hear you, be ready to explain, or run away
7) Procrastinate. Procrastination in part, Work hard in the other. Procrastination is good, I procrastinate a lot. However this means that you leave a lot of work until the last minute. So you can be a little stressed all the time, or very stressed for about a week in every four. IF you want to stay unstressed however, I recommend the first option.
8)Sit on the grass and do nothing. This came straight from “Scrubs” by the way, but it is a good idea. Just sit around and think, vegetate, but do it out in nature. More fun that way.
There are some days when I wind up so browbeaten, tired and pissed off at the world that I regret ever doing IB. It’s a common emotion. Therefore it is good to have some sort of outlet to get rid of the strain, de-stress and make everything good again. So here it is, fantastic ways to get rid of the strain.
1) First off, I know when the workload has got you down it is tempting to start banging your head against a brick wall and hope that it all goes away. BUT this never works, the work is still there afterwards. (Believe me I know, many nights sitting at my desk I have pounded my head against the hardwood for so long, my forehead has taken on a distinctly woody looking appearance. I have to use Mr. Sheen to clean my head.) Meditation is a good way to de-stress yourself. The following reading is a good one that I often use.
“Imagine yourself in a jungle, the wind is blowing in the trees, soft squeaks and squawks come from hidden birds and animals. The sky is a pure and flawless blue, dotted with small and fluffy clouds. You find yourself sitting by a stream near a small waterfall. The water is trickling gently, making soft burbling noises. All is calm and good. You cast your eyes to the stream and the water is so crisp and so clear that you can see right through it. It is so clear in fact that you can clearly make out the features of (INSERT NAME OF the teacher, student, co-coordinator, IBO board member or IB examiner who is making your life a living hell here) whose head you are holding under the water”
That always helps.
2) In the back of the IB syllabus, all the way in the back, in very very small print is a final clause that says all IB students get one secret killing per week they are enrolled in the program. This means, that on Sunday night, you can slip into the darkness and take one human life, this way Monday morning you can breathe a little easier and all the stress is gone.
3) Get crazy drunk on weekends. OK, so it only delays you doing the work, but while you are drifting in an alcohol induced stupor the last thing on your mind is what is due on Monday, as a matter of fact, about the only thing that will be on your mind is remembering to breathe. HOWEVER, party in moderation. If you want to drink, drink, if you want to get wasted, do that too, if you don’t want to do either, just sit around and talk to drunk people. However, remember that you do need sleep and trying to write that English essay due Monday with a crippling hangover is NOT a good idea. Your English teacher WILL know. Later on, when all the work is done get crazy drunk and do whatever you want, you’ve earned it.
4) Punch something. Convention says that this should be a pillow, but walls, strangers and inanimate objects make worthy substitutes. Anyway, a sizeable pummeling of anything will help to calm you down after a hard day.
5) Watch a violent movie. It will help. I know that watching Bruce Willis constantly clobber Eastern Europeans makes me feel better. With the wide range of action movies available out there, there is plenty of punches, kicks, gunfights, car chases, semi-clad women and people jumping through windows to get you through a year or two’s worth of stress and strain.
6) Strings of mass cursing. Nothing better than wandering off to a nice quiet place in nature, taking a big deep breath and cursing so bad that it would make even the hardiest of sailors blush a deep red. That REALLY de-stresses you. Remember though that if people hear you, be ready to explain, or run away
7) Procrastinate. Procrastination in part, Work hard in the other. Procrastination is good, I procrastinate a lot. However this means that you leave a lot of work until the last minute. So you can be a little stressed all the time, or very stressed for about a week in every four. IF you want to stay unstressed however, I recommend the first option.
8)Sit on the grass and do nothing. This came straight from “Scrubs” by the way, but it is a good idea. Just sit around and think, vegetate, but do it out in nature. More fun that way.
Ok, I have been busy. I haven't posted anything substantial for ages. Quick update: I'm swamped with work, dog tired, high on adrenaline and loving every minute of it. This blog has gotten more exposure, People have been coming up to me and saying that I'm funny, and I have seen material printouts straight from the site being passed around. Thanks for the support kids, although I'm fairly sure that breaks copyright laws.
I will post something chunky soon.
I will post something chunky soon.
Saturday, February 08, 2003
Hey, if anyone has a spare US80,000 or so hanging around and would like to be my friend for life, wanna buy me a '67 Shelby Mustang GT500? It's similar to the car that Cage drives in "Gone In 60 Seconds" Quite a sexy sexy car. I really really want one. Please?
Swimming carnival yesterday. Lots of fun had by all. The year 12 race was a mockery, we broke a lane rope that is going to come out of our Grad. Ball money. Everyone got sunburnt. Lots and lots of fun.
I should be doing homework, but instead this is where I am http://homepage.ntlworld.com/fetchfido/games/menu/games_menu.htm
damn addictive little games!
I should be doing homework, but instead this is where I am http://homepage.ntlworld.com/fetchfido/games/menu/games_menu.htm
damn addictive little games!
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Heres the way it's going to play, Noone is ever going to say the words "Great Gatsby" in front of me again and I promise not to have a destructive nervous breakdown. k?
Another Morning Stoner.
I would like to tell you all a story about a friend of mine.
Well, not a friend, more like a casual aquaintance. I guess some people will recognise who I am talking about but identities will be changed to protect the innocent.
Despite his real name, for the purposes of avoiding law suits etcetera I will be referring to him as "Stoner".
Stoner is one of those people that you look at and go "What a waste". I swear that this kid was born with a bong in his hand, and knowing him his first word was probably "Man". Over the years he has killed immesurable numbers of his braincells through substance abuse, leaving his sentences less than coherent.He bullshits, Remarkably so. I find that to be the most infuriating characteristic of any human being. Some of his more notable bullshit included. .
Why ciggarettes DON'T kill you : His main argument here was that "its like all psychological man, If you think its going to give you cancer it will" and most spectacularly "They havent actually proved that they cause cancer yet, The warnings are just there to scare you" . *(Stupefied Silence)* That sort of ignorance is priceless, it really is.
Why littering is good for the economy: "Because Man, it like creates jobs for people and gets them off the street man." He was stupid enough to pull this argument with two accelerated IB Stage two economics students right in front of him. Needless to say, he lost. But did he shut up? No.
Why Heroin is good for you: "Hey man, you hear that if you take like heaps of heroin man, you dont need to eat or drink or nothing man. How cool would it be if you were rich and just bought heaps of heroin man"
There was only one thing to do.
"Uh Stoner Where are you getting all this money, and why the fuck would you spend it all on drugs?"
" I know how I'd get it man, I'd just hurt myself at school and sue them for like 50 million dollars."
"Thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard Stoner, The school wont pay that!"
"yeah they will man, if I fell down the steps and broke my back I could sue"
"If you fell down the stairs it would have been your own dumbass fault, you wouldnt get shit"
Then it sort of degraded into him saying he was smarter than me with more experience yadda yadda yadda. He lost again
Some people.
I would like to tell you all a story about a friend of mine.
Well, not a friend, more like a casual aquaintance. I guess some people will recognise who I am talking about but identities will be changed to protect the innocent.
Despite his real name, for the purposes of avoiding law suits etcetera I will be referring to him as "Stoner".
Stoner is one of those people that you look at and go "What a waste". I swear that this kid was born with a bong in his hand, and knowing him his first word was probably "Man". Over the years he has killed immesurable numbers of his braincells through substance abuse, leaving his sentences less than coherent.He bullshits, Remarkably so. I find that to be the most infuriating characteristic of any human being. Some of his more notable bullshit included. .
Why ciggarettes DON'T kill you : His main argument here was that "its like all psychological man, If you think its going to give you cancer it will" and most spectacularly "They havent actually proved that they cause cancer yet, The warnings are just there to scare you" . *(Stupefied Silence)* That sort of ignorance is priceless, it really is.
Why littering is good for the economy: "Because Man, it like creates jobs for people and gets them off the street man." He was stupid enough to pull this argument with two accelerated IB Stage two economics students right in front of him. Needless to say, he lost. But did he shut up? No.
Why Heroin is good for you: "Hey man, you hear that if you take like heaps of heroin man, you dont need to eat or drink or nothing man. How cool would it be if you were rich and just bought heaps of heroin man"
There was only one thing to do.
"Uh Stoner Where are you getting all this money, and why the fuck would you spend it all on drugs?"
" I know how I'd get it man, I'd just hurt myself at school and sue them for like 50 million dollars."
"Thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard Stoner, The school wont pay that!"
"yeah they will man, if I fell down the steps and broke my back I could sue"
"If you fell down the stairs it would have been your own dumbass fault, you wouldnt get shit"
Then it sort of degraded into him saying he was smarter than me with more experience yadda yadda yadda. He lost again
Some people.
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Yawn. Another loooong day over, another bag full of homework to finish by tomorrow. So what am I doing? Procrastinating. As per usual.
Actually, tonight I've been a good boy, My TOK essay drafts are done, my math homework is in my bag, Physics reading is finished. All that remains is a little chem and Indo for the night.
Tonight was the parent information night at the school, My parents decided to go along. Came home with many questions.
"Why don't you have a study timetable?" My mum shreiked at me as she marched in the door.
"Cause I decided the time I would have taken making the time table would be better spent studying" That shut her up pretty quick.
Sigh, I think I'll go tackle that Chem before I hit the hay.
Good hunting readers.
Actually, tonight I've been a good boy, My TOK essay drafts are done, my math homework is in my bag, Physics reading is finished. All that remains is a little chem and Indo for the night.
Tonight was the parent information night at the school, My parents decided to go along. Came home with many questions.
"Why don't you have a study timetable?" My mum shreiked at me as she marched in the door.
"Cause I decided the time I would have taken making the time table would be better spent studying" That shut her up pretty quick.
Sigh, I think I'll go tackle that Chem before I hit the hay.
Good hunting readers.
Monday, February 03, 2003
Pleasant Surprises.
Today I got one of the best surprises ever. My World Lit. paper second draft is due in tomorrow, and I thought I had a WHOLE pile of work to do on it tonight. However, turns out I did the corrections when I was in one of my more motivated moods at the start of the holidays. I of course had forgotten about it completely, So when I came home, pulled my lazy arse into gear and actually opened up the document to fix it up in time for tomorrow, it was all done! It makes you feel good.
Today I got one of the best surprises ever. My World Lit. paper second draft is due in tomorrow, and I thought I had a WHOLE pile of work to do on it tonight. However, turns out I did the corrections when I was in one of my more motivated moods at the start of the holidays. I of course had forgotten about it completely, So when I came home, pulled my lazy arse into gear and actually opened up the document to fix it up in time for tomorrow, it was all done! It makes you feel good.
Sunday, February 02, 2003
Expressing myself creatively through Haiku
Here's To school! A Haiku for each subject.
Reading Great Gatsby
Good God this book is bad
Someone help me die
What does knowing mean?
Thinking about Thinking
I hate T O K
Goggles and apron on
Fluid in a beaker.
Making drugs in chem
What is rounding down?
How do I draw a graph?
We all love you Kev
One plus one is four
Yeah! Vectors rock my world!
SL Maths is fun
Get out your Bibles
Read them till I get back
See you all next week
Kamu mau ke pantai?
I sound like a monkey
Indo is Craptacular
Here's To school! A Haiku for each subject.
Reading Great Gatsby
Good God this book is bad
Someone help me die
What does knowing mean?
Thinking about Thinking
I hate T O K
Goggles and apron on
Fluid in a beaker.
Making drugs in chem
What is rounding down?
How do I draw a graph?
We all love you Kev
One plus one is four
Yeah! Vectors rock my world!
SL Maths is fun
Get out your Bibles
Read them till I get back
See you all next week
Kamu mau ke pantai?
I sound like a monkey
Indo is Craptacular
Here's a big good luck call to all of the newbies starting the IB diploma this year. It takes balls and not to mention brains (Yet in about three months you will wonder what the fuck was wrong with you) Yes, this includes you Shan, you finally got a mention.
On a lighter note, Yes, Shan is done with her boycott of the blog. After deciding not to read the fucker for a few months on the grounds that she was never mentioned and that "Blog" was a stupid name for anything, much less a journal, She's back.
She requested to be quoted as saying "Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?"
I dont know, you tell her readers
On a lighter note, Yes, Shan is done with her boycott of the blog. After deciding not to read the fucker for a few months on the grounds that she was never mentioned and that "Blog" was a stupid name for anything, much less a journal, She's back.
She requested to be quoted as saying "Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?"
I dont know, you tell her readers
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.
"Never," He told me, "Never ever, have anything to do with "The Great Gatsby".
He didn't say any more, but we've always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood he meant a great deal more than that. However I failed to take my fathers advice, and made the horrific mistake of taking IB English and being forced to study the novel. I'm inclined to reserve all judgements before I finish a book, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me, and has made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The Great Gatsby being one of them.
"Good lord" I exclaimed to myself as I reached page ten. "This Fitzgerald really is a frightful bore", However, being the stubborn old git that I am, I plodded on through page after page of the worrisome book.
My family have been prominent well-to-do people in this Southern City for three generations, and nobody could stand Gatsby any more than I could.
"If you knew what was good for you, you would toss it out and get a job that doesn't require reading, old sport" Said my father, somewhat ashamed that I had not taken his advice.
"Or better, Sit yourself down and write the great American novel!, Live the American dream"
I betook myself to thinking. Despite the fact that the "Roaring twenties" had given way to the Melancholy 21st century long ago, Maybe I still could live out the American dream. But first there was planning to do.
Now, I claim not to be an American, therefore living the American dream was something new to me, having no idea how to attain it. Writing the Great American novel on the other hand was an easier goal. The easiest way to write the Great American Novel? Think like the Great American author! I immediately developed an drinking problem, forgot most of what I know of the English Language and married a one armed, schitzophrenic prostitute from Reno.
With all else in place, I seated myself at my roll top desk in the den, selected the finest quill pen I owned and put it to paper.
And so I write on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. "
Sweet Merciful Christ! I think studying the book has made me go insane!
"Never," He told me, "Never ever, have anything to do with "The Great Gatsby".
He didn't say any more, but we've always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood he meant a great deal more than that. However I failed to take my fathers advice, and made the horrific mistake of taking IB English and being forced to study the novel. I'm inclined to reserve all judgements before I finish a book, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me, and has made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The Great Gatsby being one of them.
"Good lord" I exclaimed to myself as I reached page ten. "This Fitzgerald really is a frightful bore", However, being the stubborn old git that I am, I plodded on through page after page of the worrisome book.
My family have been prominent well-to-do people in this Southern City for three generations, and nobody could stand Gatsby any more than I could.
"If you knew what was good for you, you would toss it out and get a job that doesn't require reading, old sport" Said my father, somewhat ashamed that I had not taken his advice.
"Or better, Sit yourself down and write the great American novel!, Live the American dream"
I betook myself to thinking. Despite the fact that the "Roaring twenties" had given way to the Melancholy 21st century long ago, Maybe I still could live out the American dream. But first there was planning to do.
Now, I claim not to be an American, therefore living the American dream was something new to me, having no idea how to attain it. Writing the Great American novel on the other hand was an easier goal. The easiest way to write the Great American Novel? Think like the Great American author! I immediately developed an drinking problem, forgot most of what I know of the English Language and married a one armed, schitzophrenic prostitute from Reno.
With all else in place, I seated myself at my roll top desk in the den, selected the finest quill pen I owned and put it to paper.
And so I write on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. "
Sweet Merciful Christ! I think studying the book has made me go insane!