Don't eat the yellow snow
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Why is there a show called "The L factor" that is essentially a very softcore lesbian porn on at 11pm at night? I dont know either. Not like I'm complaining though.
I just heard from France.
Hi Nick!!
guess what!! u have a little fan club here!!
I was showing my host sister and her friend photos of all u guys right. And my host sis saw ur photo and was like ' oh oh hes like that singer, shorn mahha,' it took awhile to figure it out, but they meant that u look like john mayer!! and im sorry i didnt even suggest it!! so its true!! but anyway, they love john mayer, thinks hes really sexy, and i sauid that u play the guitar and often play his songs and then they got more excited, amazed that i was friends with someone like u!! hehehe, so there u go, they love u and u didn't do anything, u cant help it that john mayer looks like u!!
i gotta go, but though ud like to know, byebye!!
love Emma
Le Fuck
Hi Nick!!
guess what!! u have a little fan club here!!
I was showing my host sister and her friend photos of all u guys right. And my host sis saw ur photo and was like ' oh oh hes like that singer, shorn mahha,' it took awhile to figure it out, but they meant that u look like john mayer!! and im sorry i didnt even suggest it!! so its true!! but anyway, they love john mayer, thinks hes really sexy, and i sauid that u play the guitar and often play his songs and then they got more excited, amazed that i was friends with someone like u!! hehehe, so there u go, they love u and u didn't do anything, u cant help it that john mayer looks like u!!
i gotta go, but though ud like to know, byebye!!
love Emma
Le Fuck
Hey, I added another scar to my collection today. This one is called the "Hey Nick, The hot plate in the Chemistry Labs is true to its name and is actually HOT! Especially if you leave it on for an hour!"
So yeah, Inch long, upper right forearm.
It reminds me of another chemistry related scar. This time, right palm. Its roughly the size of half a 5 cent piece. This is from when the esteemed Jeff Hunter decided to use me to demonstrate an exothermic reaction.
Jeff: Ok, now I just add a little of this copper sulphate. Tell the class what you feel Nick.
*Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*
*Sizzle*
Nick: SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP IT BURNS
Jeff: Yes Nick, it is an exothermic reaction.
Seacrest out!
So yeah, Inch long, upper right forearm.
It reminds me of another chemistry related scar. This time, right palm. Its roughly the size of half a 5 cent piece. This is from when the esteemed Jeff Hunter decided to use me to demonstrate an exothermic reaction.
Jeff: Ok, now I just add a little of this copper sulphate. Tell the class what you feel Nick.
*Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*
*Sizzle*
Nick: SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP IT BURNS
Jeff: Yes Nick, it is an exothermic reaction.
Seacrest out!
Sunday, March 28, 2004
I'm finding lots of things funny today. Heres a short list.
- Ian Thorpe: Hehehe, He fell in a pool. (If I see the footage of him falling again, I will cry though)
- Dave Letterman: He writes top ten lists.
However, the biggest laugh of the day goes to this:
(Thanks go to Cobby for bringing this to my attention)
“Hydronium Hydroxide is a colorless and odorless chemical compound. Its basis is the unstable radical Hydroxide, the components of which are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol. Each year, Hydronium Hydroxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Hydronium Hydroxide are:
· Death due to accidental inhalation of hydronium hydroxide even in small quantities.
· Prolonged exposure to solid hydronium hydroxide causes severe tissue damage.
· Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
· hydronium hydroxide is a major component of acid rain.
· Gaseous hydronium hydroxide can cause severe burns.
· Contributes to soil erosion.
· Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
· Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
· Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
· Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
· Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere.
· Thermal variations in hydronium hydroxide are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect
Despite the known dangers of hydronium hydroxide, it continues to be used daily by industry, government, and even in private homes across the U.S. and worldwide. Some of the well-known uses of Hydronium Hydroxide are:
· as an additive to food products, including jarred baby food and baby formula, and even in many soups, carbonated beverages and supposedly "all-natural" fruit juices
· in cough medicines and other liquid pharmaceuticals,
· in spray-on oven cleaners,
· in shampoos, shaving creams, deodorants and numerous other bathroom products,
· in bathtub bubble products marketed to children,
· as a preservative in grocery store fresh produce sections,
· in the production of beer by all the major beer distributors,
· in the coffee available at major coffee houses in the US and abroad,
· in Formula One race cars, although its use is regulated by the Formula One Racing Commission, and
· as a target of ongoing NASA planetary and stellar research.
One of the most surprising facts recently revealed about Hydronium Hydroxide contamination is in its use as a food and produce "decontaminant." Studies have shown that even after careful washing, food and produce that has been contaminated by hydronium hydroxide remains tainted by hydronium hydroxide. Hydronium hydroxide also goes under names such as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide or simply Hydric acid”
Would you like to know more? Please visit: http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html
Ahhhhhh, was I the only one who found that really funny? If so, shut up cock-burn, I’m studying a chemistry degree!
- Ian Thorpe: Hehehe, He fell in a pool. (If I see the footage of him falling again, I will cry though)
- Dave Letterman: He writes top ten lists.
However, the biggest laugh of the day goes to this:
(Thanks go to Cobby for bringing this to my attention)
“Hydronium Hydroxide is a colorless and odorless chemical compound. Its basis is the unstable radical Hydroxide, the components of which are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol. Each year, Hydronium Hydroxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Hydronium Hydroxide are:
· Death due to accidental inhalation of hydronium hydroxide even in small quantities.
· Prolonged exposure to solid hydronium hydroxide causes severe tissue damage.
· Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
· hydronium hydroxide is a major component of acid rain.
· Gaseous hydronium hydroxide can cause severe burns.
· Contributes to soil erosion.
· Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
· Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
· Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
· Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
· Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere.
· Thermal variations in hydronium hydroxide are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect
Despite the known dangers of hydronium hydroxide, it continues to be used daily by industry, government, and even in private homes across the U.S. and worldwide. Some of the well-known uses of Hydronium Hydroxide are:
· as an additive to food products, including jarred baby food and baby formula, and even in many soups, carbonated beverages and supposedly "all-natural" fruit juices
· in cough medicines and other liquid pharmaceuticals,
· in spray-on oven cleaners,
· in shampoos, shaving creams, deodorants and numerous other bathroom products,
· in bathtub bubble products marketed to children,
· as a preservative in grocery store fresh produce sections,
· in the production of beer by all the major beer distributors,
· in the coffee available at major coffee houses in the US and abroad,
· in Formula One race cars, although its use is regulated by the Formula One Racing Commission, and
· as a target of ongoing NASA planetary and stellar research.
One of the most surprising facts recently revealed about Hydronium Hydroxide contamination is in its use as a food and produce "decontaminant." Studies have shown that even after careful washing, food and produce that has been contaminated by hydronium hydroxide remains tainted by hydronium hydroxide. Hydronium hydroxide also goes under names such as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide or simply Hydric acid”
Would you like to know more? Please visit: http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html
Ahhhhhh, was I the only one who found that really funny? If so, shut up cock-burn, I’m studying a chemistry degree!
Oh man! I forgot to mention the funniest part of last night! I was driving home, and not concentrating, I accidently took a wrong turn and wound up in a cul-de-sac off of Fisher street.
I can hear you all laughing right now going "Fuck Nick that's hilarious!"
WELL YOU CAN JUST FUCKING WAIT TILL I FINISH MY STORY!
Anyway, being a cul-de-sac, I obviously had to turn around, and turn I did, until my headlights lit up the driveway of a random house in the corner. The lights slowly panned across to reveal, a handbag, high heeled shoes, a shopping bag, a shapeless bundle of cloth that looke suprisingly like womens panties, and... a sheepish looking woman standing up and straightening her dress and an angry looking guy frantically trying to buckle his pants.
I laughed so very very hard.
Poor fella.
I can hear you all laughing right now going "Fuck Nick that's hilarious!"
WELL YOU CAN JUST FUCKING WAIT TILL I FINISH MY STORY!
Anyway, being a cul-de-sac, I obviously had to turn around, and turn I did, until my headlights lit up the driveway of a random house in the corner. The lights slowly panned across to reveal, a handbag, high heeled shoes, a shopping bag, a shapeless bundle of cloth that looke suprisingly like womens panties, and... a sheepish looking woman standing up and straightening her dress and an angry looking guy frantically trying to buckle his pants.
I laughed so very very hard.
Poor fella.
Howdy campers. This weekend has been a big one. Friday night saw people heading into town for the annual Adelaide University Engie Pub crawl. Orange T shirts as far as the eye could see took to the streets to get drunker and rowdier than ever before. The crawl began at the uni bar, where each participant took a pledge, that should they be caught by the police for doing something unsavoury, they would proudly proclaim "I am a Flinders University Arts student!". My protest that "Some of my best friends are Flinders art students" did not go down well. After consuming multiple beers at the uni bar, then the stag, then the exchange, a horde of orange shirts wandered down rundle street chanting “Flinders uni ver sit Y!” at the top of their lungs.
The ballroom was subsequently invaded followed by a brief stagger across the road to church. It was there that the trek ended for Sam, who wound up in a gutter, calling out to huey, only to be put in a taxi and sent home at the late hour of 9pm. After wandering for a bit more, I caught the bus home and stumbled into bed. Saturday night featured Flinders O’ball, in all its hardcore glory. There is something about being frisked by a giant bald man at 7pm that assures you are going to have a good night. And good night was had. There was plentiful good music and amusing drunken people with giant Mohawks to keep us entertained. A hectic weekend indeed. I leave you with this Letterman top ten list:
Top Ten Good Things About Finding a Condom In Your Clam Chowder
10. Only slightly more rubbery and unappealing than the clams
9. It's a lot better than finding a clam in your condom
8. Provides 35% of the recommended daily allowance of latex
7. You can use it to take home any clam chowder you don't finish.
6. Ever eat Cracker Jacks? Well, think of it as a prize
5. It can clearly be washed and used again.
4. Does the phrase "damages for emotional pain and suffering" ring a bell?"
3. Mmm Mmm Ribbed!
2. For Bill Clinton, it's one-stop shopping
1. It's a lot better than not finding it
Also, while I am talking about condoms and clam chowder, a big Happy Birthday to our own Luke "Betty" Betros for yesterday. He has finally joined the elite club of legal drinkers.
The ballroom was subsequently invaded followed by a brief stagger across the road to church. It was there that the trek ended for Sam, who wound up in a gutter, calling out to huey, only to be put in a taxi and sent home at the late hour of 9pm. After wandering for a bit more, I caught the bus home and stumbled into bed. Saturday night featured Flinders O’ball, in all its hardcore glory. There is something about being frisked by a giant bald man at 7pm that assures you are going to have a good night. And good night was had. There was plentiful good music and amusing drunken people with giant Mohawks to keep us entertained. A hectic weekend indeed. I leave you with this Letterman top ten list:
Top Ten Good Things About Finding a Condom In Your Clam Chowder
10. Only slightly more rubbery and unappealing than the clams
9. It's a lot better than finding a clam in your condom
8. Provides 35% of the recommended daily allowance of latex
7. You can use it to take home any clam chowder you don't finish.
6. Ever eat Cracker Jacks? Well, think of it as a prize
5. It can clearly be washed and used again.
4. Does the phrase "damages for emotional pain and suffering" ring a bell?"
3. Mmm Mmm Ribbed!
2. For Bill Clinton, it's one-stop shopping
1. It's a lot better than not finding it
Also, while I am talking about condoms and clam chowder, a big Happy Birthday to our own Luke "Betty" Betros for yesterday. He has finally joined the elite club of legal drinkers.
Friday, March 26, 2004
Heres the last thing I think all of you were expecting!
FRIDAY FIVE!
If you...
1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
Good, cheap tasty food, with chips. My restaurant would rule! I would open it on Rundle Street next to Nick and Emily and be like "Eat here because while you eat you don't get stupid video cameras in your face" and everyone will be eating my good tasty food with chips rather than the food next door which is REALLY good, without chips.
2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?
Porn. Porn and Guitars. But mostly porn.
3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?
Horror/Thriller. I have read enough of those by now to know how to write one I reckon.
4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?
Sarcasm 101, Cynicism 101 and if I had a choice, Year 8 English (I don't think that that is really a hell of a lot of work)
5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?
Something with blazing guitar solos.
FRIDAY FIVE!
If you...
1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
Good, cheap tasty food, with chips. My restaurant would rule! I would open it on Rundle Street next to Nick and Emily and be like "Eat here because while you eat you don't get stupid video cameras in your face" and everyone will be eating my good tasty food with chips rather than the food next door which is REALLY good, without chips.
2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?
Porn. Porn and Guitars. But mostly porn.
3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?
Horror/Thriller. I have read enough of those by now to know how to write one I reckon.
4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?
Sarcasm 101, Cynicism 101 and if I had a choice, Year 8 English (I don't think that that is really a hell of a lot of work)
5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?
Something with blazing guitar solos.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
This was brought to my attention by Liz. Last year, I was quite an angry man, (mostly due to stress and mass intolerance) and there were quite a few lists of things that piss me off as tribute to that. However, this year with my momentous 13 whole contact hours a week, I have way too much relaxation time on my hands to get stressed. Plus, I have become more Buddhist this year, and am not letting stuff phase me as much.
But that doesn't mean I don't get pissed off, and lately, I have been getting more so. (My bitter cynicism has returned!)
So, just for Liz (and so you think that I haven’t gone soft)
Things that piss me off: Expressions, Proverbs and Sayings
We all know these, The tiny little gems of wisdom that people decide to spout out at different occasions, but unfortunately: Most, if not all, of them are complete and utter bullshit. Expand? I think I will!
“All good things come to those who wait”
No, you see, that’s wrong. I'm fairly sure if I sat around on my ass all day long just waiting, all that would come would be bedsores, severe infection, and then, if I waited instead of going to the doctor, a slow and painful death. Moral: Shitty things come to those who wait.
“Many a mickle makes a muckle”
I like alliteration too kids, but what the fuck is that? Martian? If it doesn’t make any sense, its not going to help me out here! Why don’t you stop talking shit and do something to help asshole!
“Oh well, Time is money”
Well, open a fucking watch shop then, you condescending bastard.
“God helps those who help themselves”
No, No he doesn’t. If I am helping myself, I don’t need God’s help; therefore he can sit around doing whatever it is God does all day.
“I give 110%”
Its popular among the sports nuts. Do I need to point out that the most you can give is 100%? (Ok, I understand the fact that it is stating they tried their hardest, but do they have to say it so damn often?)
“That’s life”
Yes, If it was death it would be much less interesting
“Slow and steady wins the race”
Ok, I know I wasn’t the most brilliant physicist in my graduating class, but I am fairly sure that anything other than “Slower and steady” will beat slow and steady. More to the point, Fast and steady will kick ass over slow and steady any day. Its fairly simple to work out. (If I had remembered anything that I ‘learnt” in physics during my schooling career, I could probably supply formulae to back me up, but since that my physics brain cells were killed with cheap cheap beer over schoolies, I can’t)
“A penny saved is a penny earned”
Yes, I agree that they are the same penny. As a matter of fact, you have to EARN the penny before you have the penny to save. So its really just stating the fucking obvious isn’t it?
“Early to bed, Early to rise, Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise”
If you are spending that much time in bed, you aren’t doing too much of anything really. So you aren’t going to be studying, running or earning money. Besides, The Animaniacs said it best “Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead”
But that doesn't mean I don't get pissed off, and lately, I have been getting more so. (My bitter cynicism has returned!)
So, just for Liz (and so you think that I haven’t gone soft)
Things that piss me off: Expressions, Proverbs and Sayings
We all know these, The tiny little gems of wisdom that people decide to spout out at different occasions, but unfortunately: Most, if not all, of them are complete and utter bullshit. Expand? I think I will!
“All good things come to those who wait”
No, you see, that’s wrong. I'm fairly sure if I sat around on my ass all day long just waiting, all that would come would be bedsores, severe infection, and then, if I waited instead of going to the doctor, a slow and painful death. Moral: Shitty things come to those who wait.
“Many a mickle makes a muckle”
I like alliteration too kids, but what the fuck is that? Martian? If it doesn’t make any sense, its not going to help me out here! Why don’t you stop talking shit and do something to help asshole!
“Oh well, Time is money”
Well, open a fucking watch shop then, you condescending bastard.
“God helps those who help themselves”
No, No he doesn’t. If I am helping myself, I don’t need God’s help; therefore he can sit around doing whatever it is God does all day.
“I give 110%”
Its popular among the sports nuts. Do I need to point out that the most you can give is 100%? (Ok, I understand the fact that it is stating they tried their hardest, but do they have to say it so damn often?)
“That’s life”
Yes, If it was death it would be much less interesting
“Slow and steady wins the race”
Ok, I know I wasn’t the most brilliant physicist in my graduating class, but I am fairly sure that anything other than “Slower and steady” will beat slow and steady. More to the point, Fast and steady will kick ass over slow and steady any day. Its fairly simple to work out. (If I had remembered anything that I ‘learnt” in physics during my schooling career, I could probably supply formulae to back me up, but since that my physics brain cells were killed with cheap cheap beer over schoolies, I can’t)
“A penny saved is a penny earned”
Yes, I agree that they are the same penny. As a matter of fact, you have to EARN the penny before you have the penny to save. So its really just stating the fucking obvious isn’t it?
“Early to bed, Early to rise, Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise”
If you are spending that much time in bed, you aren’t doing too much of anything really. So you aren’t going to be studying, running or earning money. Besides, The Animaniacs said it best “Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead”
What happens when Nick is bored and tired:
TRILLIAN caused an invalid page fault in
module IRC.DLL at 0167:02c445e7.
Registers:
EAX=00000000 CS=0167 EIP=02c445e7 EFLGS=00010246
EBX=006bd121 SS=016f ESP=006bcc7c EBP=bff77844
ECX=006bccc4 DS=016f ESI=006bd11c FS=60df
EDX=006bd124 ES=016f EDI=00000000 GS=0000
Bytes at CS:EIP:
c6 07 00 47 e8 10 e8 ff ff 68 00 74 c8 02 57 e8
Stack dump:
006bccc4 006bd121 006bd121 0000003a 02c20000 bff76da8 00000006 bff55591 00000000 00000000 00000000 69473e22 72656262 3c687369 6475622f 0d3e7964
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
what does that mean!!!
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
fucking computer!
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
oh, trillian fucks up as well on my computer
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
i dont get it, it was working fine until 2 days ago
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghh!
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
reinstall trillian?
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
done, twice
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
deleted, uninstalled, re installed
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
patched, re patched,
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
i have done everything i can think of
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
hmm, did you use a highstream upward flux?
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
did i whatta whatta?
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
i may or may not have made that up just then
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
hehehe
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
i just wanted to say something nerdish
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
i thought you were telling me to piss into my computer
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
hahahahaha
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
yes, try that
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*Zzzzzzip*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*flop*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*whizzing*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*crackling*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*strange electric noises*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
Sniff: what smells like smoke?
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*BZAP!*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
OH SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz CRACKLE bzzzzzzzzzzzz ZAP ZAP ZAP
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
OW MY BALLS! MY ELECTROCUTED BALLS!
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*FRAZZLE FRAZZLE*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
OH GOD! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE! NO, NOT THAT HAIR
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*FRAZZLE BUZZ*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*HISSSSSSSSS*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*Whimpers*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*BZAP!*
(Snowman: I am the man on the side appears to be offline and may not reply)
TRILLIAN caused an invalid page fault in
module IRC.DLL at 0167:02c445e7.
Registers:
EAX=00000000 CS=0167 EIP=02c445e7 EFLGS=00010246
EBX=006bd121 SS=016f ESP=006bcc7c EBP=bff77844
ECX=006bccc4 DS=016f ESI=006bd11c FS=60df
EDX=006bd124 ES=016f EDI=00000000 GS=0000
Bytes at CS:EIP:
c6 07 00 47 e8 10 e8 ff ff 68 00 74 c8 02 57 e8
Stack dump:
006bccc4 006bd121 006bd121 0000003a 02c20000 bff76da8 00000006 bff55591 00000000 00000000 00000000 69473e22 72656262 3c687369 6475622f 0d3e7964
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
what does that mean!!!
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
fucking computer!
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
oh, trillian fucks up as well on my computer
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
i dont get it, it was working fine until 2 days ago
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghh!
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
reinstall trillian?
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
done, twice
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
deleted, uninstalled, re installed
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
patched, re patched,
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
i have done everything i can think of
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
hmm, did you use a highstream upward flux?
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
did i whatta whatta?
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
i may or may not have made that up just then
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
hehehe
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
i just wanted to say something nerdish
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
i thought you were telling me to piss into my computer
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
hahahahaha
[ Marty ] . the Man says:
yes, try that
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*Zzzzzzip*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*flop*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*whizzing*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*crackling*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*strange electric noises*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
Sniff: what smells like smoke?
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*BZAP!*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
OH SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz CRACKLE bzzzzzzzzzzzz ZAP ZAP ZAP
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
OW MY BALLS! MY ELECTROCUTED BALLS!
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*FRAZZLE FRAZZLE*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
OH GOD! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE! NO, NOT THAT HAIR
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*FRAZZLE BUZZ*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*HISSSSSSSSS*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*Whimpers*
Snowman: I am the man on the side says:
*BZAP!*
(Snowman: I am the man on the side appears to be offline and may not reply)
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Tim sent this to me, I thought it was cool. I may have mentioned it before.
Neato.
(That was for liz.)
Neato.
(That was for liz.)
Monday, March 22, 2004
Can I ask a question? (I know, I already did)
What the fuck is up with footballers raping people? Like seriously!
Are they that retarded that they can't be normal like the rest of us?
I know that as athletes, they suck in the sack (Musicians all the way)
I dont know anymore. I am ranting. But I'm sick of hearing about it.
I should probably not watch the news as much.
Back to the Simpsons.
What the fuck is up with footballers raping people? Like seriously!
Are they that retarded that they can't be normal like the rest of us?
I know that as athletes, they suck in the sack (Musicians all the way)
I dont know anymore. I am ranting. But I'm sick of hearing about it.
I should probably not watch the news as much.
Back to the Simpsons.
Sunday, March 21, 2004
Define optimism?
A juice stall that sells bottled juice and freshly squeezed orange juice opening up, two feet away and directly opposite an established Boost Juice outlet.
A juice stall that sells bottled juice and freshly squeezed orange juice opening up, two feet away and directly opposite an established Boost Juice outlet.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Hey! Happy St Patricks day everybody! The one day of the year where drinking Guinness and any drinks that are green is perfectly acceptable. Last year around this time, some will remember a run in I had with some friends of mine, Burbon, Vodka, and Pisang Ambong (A green looking noxious Indonesian spirit that tastes like Banana). Unfortunately all three were mixed for me and unfortunately I drank the lot. That night a lot happened that I don't exactly remember. I do remember being raped by Nicola and Emma who were in pursuit of my "Penii cards" (Which I think was the contents of my wallet) and my alcohol. I also happened to forget everything that happened that night, but I was told that I had to be hauled into a car by seven people and dragged home. I did a lot of stuff that night I regretted or wasn't proud of, but it makes for a good story.
Anyway! As Danny Bhoy says, the difference between Irish people and Scottish people is clear: Scottish people sound like *in a Scottish accent* "Hello, How are you?" and Irish people sound like *in high pitched Irish voice* "Tiddledee dee potatoes"
And thats why we love them. Give your local Irishman a big hug today, or a big keg of Guinness, either way. (Pass on my wishes to O'D if anyone sees him today)
Here's a song for the occasion!
Here, comes the cold.
Break out the winter clothes
And find a love to call your own.
You...enter you.
Your cheeks a shade of pink
And the rest of you in powder blue.
Who knows, what will be?
But I'll make you this guarantee...
No way November will see our goodbyes
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
In the dark, on the phone,
You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favorite colors...I'm learning you.
And when, it snows again
We'll take a walk outside
And search the sky, like children do (I'll say to you..)
No way November will see our goodbyes
When it comes to December it's obvious why.
No one wants to be alone at Chrismas time.
Come January, we're frozen inside.
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?
And we'll both be safe till St. Patrick's day.
We should take a ride tonight around the town
And look around at all the beautiful houses.
Something in the way the blue light's on the black night
Can make you feel more
Everybody it seems to me,
Just wants to be, just like you and me
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times.
February, won't you be my valentine?
And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday, take that away
I'll be alright...if it was just till St. Patrick's Day.
John Mayer - St Patrick's Day
(Its a bit of a Northern Hemisphere song)
Heres to drinking!
Tiddledee dee potatoes!
Anyway! As Danny Bhoy says, the difference between Irish people and Scottish people is clear: Scottish people sound like *in a Scottish accent* "Hello, How are you?" and Irish people sound like *in high pitched Irish voice* "Tiddledee dee potatoes"
And thats why we love them. Give your local Irishman a big hug today, or a big keg of Guinness, either way. (Pass on my wishes to O'D if anyone sees him today)
Here's a song for the occasion!
Here, comes the cold.
Break out the winter clothes
And find a love to call your own.
You...enter you.
Your cheeks a shade of pink
And the rest of you in powder blue.
Who knows, what will be?
But I'll make you this guarantee...
No way November will see our goodbyes
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
In the dark, on the phone,
You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favorite colors...I'm learning you.
And when, it snows again
We'll take a walk outside
And search the sky, like children do (I'll say to you..)
No way November will see our goodbyes
When it comes to December it's obvious why.
No one wants to be alone at Chrismas time.
Come January, we're frozen inside.
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?
And we'll both be safe till St. Patrick's day.
We should take a ride tonight around the town
And look around at all the beautiful houses.
Something in the way the blue light's on the black night
Can make you feel more
Everybody it seems to me,
Just wants to be, just like you and me
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times.
February, won't you be my valentine?
And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday, take that away
I'll be alright...if it was just till St. Patrick's Day.
John Mayer - St Patrick's Day
(Its a bit of a Northern Hemisphere song)
Heres to drinking!
Tiddledee dee potatoes!
Monday, March 15, 2004
I forgot one. I have a scar on my head from when I fell out of a window onto a cement slab. I bled heartily again. It probably explains a lot too.
Hello!
Another Monday. This weekend brought more Fringe related antics. Adam Hills at Union hall to be precise. I may or may not have met him, and my jacket was involved in his act. Therefore, of the five stand up comedians that I saw at the Fringe, I told Wil Anderson I loved him, talked to Dave Hughes about porn (and met him), Heckled Lee Mack about his lack of drunkedness and gave Adam Hills my jacket (along with keys, mobile phone and wallet, Thats right, I could have been robbed by Adam Hills) which means, that means the only person I wasn't involved with was Danny Bhoy. Yay.
In other news, today I added a scar to my "You fucking retard" collection when I burnt myself on the tasty toasty maker when trying to prise a particularly stubborn pizza flavoured sarnie from the non-stick (BULLSHIT) plate. The result? A healthy inch long blister on my left inner forearm which will scar up nicely.
Other scars in the "You fucking retard" collection include...
-A crecent mark on my back about the size of a five cent piece from my childhood years, (I stood up in the bath and cracked it on the metal tap, it bled)
- A small oval scar on my chest at the end of my sternum where I burned myself with either a torch bulb or hot oil ( I forget which, either way, dont cook anything with oil shirtless)
-A small 2cm long scar on my right inner forearm where I slashed it on corrogated iron at Carrackalinga when I was being a tard (Possibly trying to hide a Hanson Mmm Bop Remix CD)
-A tiny mark on my forehead above my right eye from trying to get my football out of a tree as a kid (I threw a heavy wooden stake up to knock it out, but forgot to keep my eye on it as it came down)
- Right hand, back, just above my thumb, that came from a close encounter with an oven element (You know the red glowing part?) My hand got stuck to it.
- Several slashes, left finger tips. At one stage I thought it would be cool to learn how to juggle knives. Then play guitar while the cuts were still scabbed.
- Right leg, rear, high on my calf, : I tried to jump over a barbed wire fence, the fence won.
- Left hand, fingers, backs. Dont play with deoderant and matches kids!
So thats why I call it the "You fucking retard" Collection. Nothing was a serious injury, they were all from me being a fucking retard. Such is life.
Goodnight
Another Monday. This weekend brought more Fringe related antics. Adam Hills at Union hall to be precise. I may or may not have met him, and my jacket was involved in his act. Therefore, of the five stand up comedians that I saw at the Fringe, I told Wil Anderson I loved him, talked to Dave Hughes about porn (and met him), Heckled Lee Mack about his lack of drunkedness and gave Adam Hills my jacket (along with keys, mobile phone and wallet, Thats right, I could have been robbed by Adam Hills) which means, that means the only person I wasn't involved with was Danny Bhoy. Yay.
In other news, today I added a scar to my "You fucking retard" collection when I burnt myself on the tasty toasty maker when trying to prise a particularly stubborn pizza flavoured sarnie from the non-stick (BULLSHIT) plate. The result? A healthy inch long blister on my left inner forearm which will scar up nicely.
Other scars in the "You fucking retard" collection include...
-A crecent mark on my back about the size of a five cent piece from my childhood years, (I stood up in the bath and cracked it on the metal tap, it bled)
- A small oval scar on my chest at the end of my sternum where I burned myself with either a torch bulb or hot oil ( I forget which, either way, dont cook anything with oil shirtless)
-A small 2cm long scar on my right inner forearm where I slashed it on corrogated iron at Carrackalinga when I was being a tard (Possibly trying to hide a Hanson Mmm Bop Remix CD)
-A tiny mark on my forehead above my right eye from trying to get my football out of a tree as a kid (I threw a heavy wooden stake up to knock it out, but forgot to keep my eye on it as it came down)
- Right hand, back, just above my thumb, that came from a close encounter with an oven element (You know the red glowing part?) My hand got stuck to it.
- Several slashes, left finger tips. At one stage I thought it would be cool to learn how to juggle knives. Then play guitar while the cuts were still scabbed.
- Right leg, rear, high on my calf, : I tried to jump over a barbed wire fence, the fence won.
- Left hand, fingers, backs. Dont play with deoderant and matches kids!
So thats why I call it the "You fucking retard" Collection. Nothing was a serious injury, they were all from me being a fucking retard. Such is life.
Goodnight
Friday, March 12, 2004
Ever watched someone walking their dog on one of those extender leads? You know the ones that are on a spool, so the dog can run away while its master lets out the lead and walks along at a steady place? Have you ever seen the look in the dogs eyes as it runs? That dog thinks that itis free. That dog thinks that it's bullet proof. That dog thinks that there is nothing in this world that can stop it... And then, the lead runs out and it is cruelly jerked backwards by the throat, and is left lying, on its back, staring up at the fucking sky, tears in its eyes, wondering what the fuck happened. The master keeps on walking along, laughing at the stupid dog.
What happens is this: the dog is so blinded by the goodness, the freedom, the exhilaration that it has been given, the idea that for once his life isn't a shitpile of eating dogfood and licking its own testicles. So taken in by the fact that for once, life is going perfectly. It's so taken in by this, that it fogets that that choke chain is still wrapped around its neck. And, In turn, the master finds it nessesary to remind it from time to time that the dog is still under its control, living as only he sees fit. He tugs the chain, and laughs. Toying with the animal and punishing it for being so foolish.
Even though it happens all the time, eventually, the dog gets up, and runs again, thinking that life wouldn't be so cruel as to backstab it twice. And it does, again and again, until one day, the dog breaks out of the yard, runs into the street, drunk on freedom and is hit by a Mrs Maginty from down the road, driving her midnight blue Astra home from the shops. And inevitably, that dog crawls home bleeding, inches its way painfully under the front porch, and there, alone, bloody and licking its own wounds, it dies.
My analogy, though drawn out, is simple. We, as humans are the dog, dangling at the end of that chain, Thinking for brief seconds and God, Buddha or whatever fucking deity you believe in, is the bastard on the other end of that chain.
There's no need to fret about my state of mind. I'm not suicidally depressed as that entry would appear to suggest. With the world travelling as it is right now though, I am starting to feel less and less in control, and to anyone who knows me, you know thats a pet hate of mine. One day, (and this happens to all of us), you wake up to discover that everything has changed, and the very things that you thought defined who you were are gone, or have changed so much, that you barely recognise them any more. It does happen to everyone, so don't bullshit me with "But Nick, right now life is perfect, Its never going to change, I am the master of your own destiny." For that, my friends is the biggest steaming pile of horse shit imaginable. You will think that, but then you will wake up and its fucking scary. Suddenly you arent the person you thought you were when you went to bed the night before, and you will want to change. You will want to change your life and the people in it, you will want to change your surroundings, your schedule, what you look like, who your friends are and what you do. When it comes down to it, you begin to feel stagnant, and you want to change the very essence of who you are and what defines the parameters of you. I'm starting to get that feeling right now, and I dont know why. Let that be a warning.
The moral of that story, If there is one, is that you are what you make of yourself, you just have to constantly remake yourself, otherwise you're setting yourself up for a mighty shock one day when it all comes crashing down. Be adaptive, roll with those punches and tell it like it is. Life is too short for bullshit.
Peace.
What happens is this: the dog is so blinded by the goodness, the freedom, the exhilaration that it has been given, the idea that for once his life isn't a shitpile of eating dogfood and licking its own testicles. So taken in by the fact that for once, life is going perfectly. It's so taken in by this, that it fogets that that choke chain is still wrapped around its neck. And, In turn, the master finds it nessesary to remind it from time to time that the dog is still under its control, living as only he sees fit. He tugs the chain, and laughs. Toying with the animal and punishing it for being so foolish.
Even though it happens all the time, eventually, the dog gets up, and runs again, thinking that life wouldn't be so cruel as to backstab it twice. And it does, again and again, until one day, the dog breaks out of the yard, runs into the street, drunk on freedom and is hit by a Mrs Maginty from down the road, driving her midnight blue Astra home from the shops. And inevitably, that dog crawls home bleeding, inches its way painfully under the front porch, and there, alone, bloody and licking its own wounds, it dies.
My analogy, though drawn out, is simple. We, as humans are the dog, dangling at the end of that chain, Thinking for brief seconds and God, Buddha or whatever fucking deity you believe in, is the bastard on the other end of that chain.
There's no need to fret about my state of mind. I'm not suicidally depressed as that entry would appear to suggest. With the world travelling as it is right now though, I am starting to feel less and less in control, and to anyone who knows me, you know thats a pet hate of mine. One day, (and this happens to all of us), you wake up to discover that everything has changed, and the very things that you thought defined who you were are gone, or have changed so much, that you barely recognise them any more. It does happen to everyone, so don't bullshit me with "But Nick, right now life is perfect, Its never going to change, I am the master of your own destiny." For that, my friends is the biggest steaming pile of horse shit imaginable. You will think that, but then you will wake up and its fucking scary. Suddenly you arent the person you thought you were when you went to bed the night before, and you will want to change. You will want to change your life and the people in it, you will want to change your surroundings, your schedule, what you look like, who your friends are and what you do. When it comes down to it, you begin to feel stagnant, and you want to change the very essence of who you are and what defines the parameters of you. I'm starting to get that feeling right now, and I dont know why. Let that be a warning.
The moral of that story, If there is one, is that you are what you make of yourself, you just have to constantly remake yourself, otherwise you're setting yourself up for a mighty shock one day when it all comes crashing down. Be adaptive, roll with those punches and tell it like it is. Life is too short for bullshit.
Peace.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Things I have learnt in a fortnight at Flinders:
As my second week of tertiary education draws slowly to a close, I am taking stock of the little life lessons that University has given me for my remaining years of study. I choose to share this wisdom with you.
1) Laughing at your lecturers funny accent or appearance will win you no friends.
2) Neither will imitating it...
3) To their face.
4) People sitting on the far left of any row in a lecture theatre are either a) Left handed or b) Retarded.
5) Going to a boring lecture is like going to a bad movie: the only thing keeping you from walking out is the fact that you paid money to see it.
6) Like most people, lecturers are truly thought provoking. Most of my foreign ones provoke the thought "What the fuck are you on about?"
7) Most desks are a treasure trove of mid-lecture reading. Mostly profanity and "(INSERT BAND) Rox!/Rulz!/Kicks ass!"
8) People who note down everything a lecturer says are both stupid and boring. (I shit you not, one guy in maths had written down half of my Russian lecturers bad joke before he realised it wouldnt be in the exam)
9) Of the 8 Million coke machines on campus, 99% of them will not accept my money when I need a post lecture coke fix.
10) Mathematical induction: Lecturers carry briefcases. Dale carries a briefcase, therefore, Dale is a lecturer.
11) Lunch is very affordable with student discount.
12) Parking in car park 3 (Siberia to the Flinders crowd, Its about a kilometer away from anything for the others) with 10 minutes to get to a lecture will either require super speed or rocket skates.
13) You can do laps of the campus in neutral.
14) Beer is good. But not as good as going to lectures while drinking beer.
15) Noone shows up to 9am lectures.
16) Locating the Tavern first thing is a MUST for first year students.
17) There is NOT pirate treasure hidden in the lake (Despite how hard drunken third year students try to convince you)
18) The map is nut buried in car park three
19) If you do go swimming to try and find said pirate treasure, dont open your mouth, and security WILL not be amused.
20) Snoring in lectures will be frowned upon.
21) So will loudly discrediting lecturers with phrases like "I am rubber you are glue!"
Other than that I am enjoying getting up at 10 every day. Its very enjoyable. Peace out.
As my second week of tertiary education draws slowly to a close, I am taking stock of the little life lessons that University has given me for my remaining years of study. I choose to share this wisdom with you.
1) Laughing at your lecturers funny accent or appearance will win you no friends.
2) Neither will imitating it...
3) To their face.
4) People sitting on the far left of any row in a lecture theatre are either a) Left handed or b) Retarded.
5) Going to a boring lecture is like going to a bad movie: the only thing keeping you from walking out is the fact that you paid money to see it.
6) Like most people, lecturers are truly thought provoking. Most of my foreign ones provoke the thought "What the fuck are you on about?"
7) Most desks are a treasure trove of mid-lecture reading. Mostly profanity and "(INSERT BAND) Rox!/Rulz!/Kicks ass!"
8) People who note down everything a lecturer says are both stupid and boring. (I shit you not, one guy in maths had written down half of my Russian lecturers bad joke before he realised it wouldnt be in the exam)
9) Of the 8 Million coke machines on campus, 99% of them will not accept my money when I need a post lecture coke fix.
10) Mathematical induction: Lecturers carry briefcases. Dale carries a briefcase, therefore, Dale is a lecturer.
11) Lunch is very affordable with student discount.
12) Parking in car park 3 (Siberia to the Flinders crowd, Its about a kilometer away from anything for the others) with 10 minutes to get to a lecture will either require super speed or rocket skates.
13) You can do laps of the campus in neutral.
14) Beer is good. But not as good as going to lectures while drinking beer.
15) Noone shows up to 9am lectures.
16) Locating the Tavern first thing is a MUST for first year students.
17) There is NOT pirate treasure hidden in the lake (Despite how hard drunken third year students try to convince you)
18) The map is nut buried in car park three
19) If you do go swimming to try and find said pirate treasure, dont open your mouth, and security WILL not be amused.
20) Snoring in lectures will be frowned upon.
21) So will loudly discrediting lecturers with phrases like "I am rubber you are glue!"
Other than that I am enjoying getting up at 10 every day. Its very enjoyable. Peace out.
Monday, March 08, 2004
You never realise how popular somethings are until you need to forget them. Then it seems to appear everywhere, like God reminding you how screwed life is.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
I was reading through the Flinders University Student run magazine “The Empire Times” today in one of my breaks, and saw a section in it and thought “Man! That’s a great idea!” So of course, I stole it. Here goes….
Modern Myths Debunked
Basically, this is a section where I take a modern myth, and rip shit into it until people don’t believe it is true any more. And right now I am taking a myth that is pissing me off muchly right now. People saying I look like other people.
Today’s Myth: Nick looks like John Mayer.
For those of you who don’t know, John Mayer is a musician and guitarist of whom I enjoy listening to. I also play the guitar. For these two reasons alone, people consistently tell me that I look like John Mayer. I believe this to be wrong.
For example:
(This photo was sent to me by a certain person who shall remain nameless, the file title is “John looks like Nick”)
Add to this, a photo of myself in a similar pose:
Note the differences for there are many! I have darker skin tone, a different shaped nose and different hair. Mayer is also somewhat slimmer than me. As shown below:
(This picture is taken from his most recent album cover “Heavier Things”)
Aannnnnnnnnnnd myself in a similar position
(Yes, I know it is backwards, I have a left handed guitar)
I hope the differences will be enough to convince you. Please vote on the poll to settle this issue once and for all!
Also: Other people I don’t look like include : Dean Cain, Harry Connick Jr, Neil Finn, Buddha and Montgomery Burns
Modern Myths Debunked
Basically, this is a section where I take a modern myth, and rip shit into it until people don’t believe it is true any more. And right now I am taking a myth that is pissing me off muchly right now. People saying I look like other people.
Today’s Myth: Nick looks like John Mayer.
For those of you who don’t know, John Mayer is a musician and guitarist of whom I enjoy listening to. I also play the guitar. For these two reasons alone, people consistently tell me that I look like John Mayer. I believe this to be wrong.
For example:
(This photo was sent to me by a certain person who shall remain nameless, the file title is “John looks like Nick”)
Add to this, a photo of myself in a similar pose:
Note the differences for there are many! I have darker skin tone, a different shaped nose and different hair. Mayer is also somewhat slimmer than me. As shown below:
(This picture is taken from his most recent album cover “Heavier Things”)
Aannnnnnnnnnnd myself in a similar position
(Yes, I know it is backwards, I have a left handed guitar)
I hope the differences will be enough to convince you. Please vote on the poll to settle this issue once and for all!
Also: Other people I don’t look like include : Dean Cain, Harry Connick Jr, Neil Finn, Buddha and Montgomery Burns
Monday, March 01, 2004
How do you spot a Fresher at Flinders? They are the only ones panting and sweating as they try to get from class to class!
For those of you who dont know, Flinders University is set on a hill, or to be precise, it is roughly in a U shape in a bowl of hills, with a lake at the lowest point. In other words, To get to and from classes, you have to hike up hill or sprint down it. Either way, I'm sure after a couple of weeks of hiking around (or sprinting, depending how late you are) we will all be able to do it without dying.
I had a maths lecture today, my algebra lecture has a Russian accent so thick you could probably lean against it, and my calculus teacher is Indian. Solution = Maths will be fun! :D
More on that later.
For those of you who dont know, Flinders University is set on a hill, or to be precise, it is roughly in a U shape in a bowl of hills, with a lake at the lowest point. In other words, To get to and from classes, you have to hike up hill or sprint down it. Either way, I'm sure after a couple of weeks of hiking around (or sprinting, depending how late you are) we will all be able to do it without dying.
I had a maths lecture today, my algebra lecture has a Russian accent so thick you could probably lean against it, and my calculus teacher is Indian. Solution = Maths will be fun! :D
More on that later.